10/10/2005 03:07:20

Dear Setheus,
I know that you'll hear this a lot but I know how you feel. I too lost My Father not long ago. We had a realtionship not too dissimmilar to yours and your step-Dads. I struggled for a whille through hating him and then feeling guilty and excusing him. It's funny how someones death makes them seem better then they were when they were alive.
The best piece of advice I can give you is allow yourself to grieve, even though you weren't close for a while. Get mad and annoyed, whatever makes it feel better and is not destructive to you or others.

Be honest about how you feel and go with it. I spent a long time feeling like I wasn't entitled to be upset because we spent so much of our time fighting and not talking. I spent even more time feelin as though I had been unfair to him. Now I know I was right all along he wasn't a very good Dad he didn't treat me or my sisters and brother very well, but he was my Dad and I reserve the right to hate him, love him and miss him all at the same time.

I hope you find peace and find a way to deal with your pain positively

Love AURORA