I'm back in the states now. Its a strange and loney feeling. I actually feel like I miss not knowing if I'm going to make it through the night's mission. I miss the primal way in which I'd grown accoustomed to living.
It was a lonely flight home. But, flying is always that way for me. I'm a people person and when I travel its hard on me. I see all of these hundereds of people passing me by in the airport terminals and I cant help but think that each one of them has a life...a complete and detailed life, and I will never see them again, and never know their stories. Its like I'm a ghost just passing through. Or maybe they'e all ghosts and I'm just able to catch a glimps of them.
I didnt really talk to anyone on the planes. One flight I sat next to an attractive woman. I was interested in maybe getting to know her a little...until she spoke. Perhpas the most annoying woman ever. On the flight to the US from London I sat next to an old retired Viet Nam Marine. He and I hit it off well and we both swapped war stories and we both talked of things that only a couple of war vets could understand. I at one point broke down a little on him and he understood. He'd been through simular hell in the jungle. I met his family in VA before I caught my connecting flight. I took them all to dinner at the airport resturaunt.
I dont know how long it will be before I fully get used to being back. I still want to drive in the center of the road ...in Iraq you drive in the center of the road to avoid bombs and ambushes. I still dont feel comfortable sleeping without my 45 tucked under my extra pillow. I'm not having any bad dreams anymore. My first deployment it took me months to get past the dreams when I came home.
Tomorrow I'm taking the dogs back to the beach. I think we'll spend the morning there.