Today's quote of inspiration: "This sick and mean old world cries out for men and women in whose heart there is love and kindness and a desire to lift, help, and improve." -President Gordon B. Hinckley, LDS Church.

I absolutely love that quote. It's so true in these perilous times. It means smiling at a grouchy face you encounter, pulling two grocery shopping carts apart that are stuck together for some struggling elderly person, or reading The Book of Mormon again when you don't really want to because you were just catching up on reading The Deseret News so that you could get caught up with reading the back log of The Ensign.

I do need to improve. Here's two things I need to do:
1. Get caught up reading everything. By the way, I'm several chapters ahead in the Book of Mormon reading schedule because I want to finally get to the backlog of magazines I have.
2. Start going to church. I quit going regularly when I was 13. I got snubbed by the girls there and was alone. I've attended about 15 meetings over the decades since then, I'm sorry to say, but I've never stopped loving the Savior or Heavenly Father.

The reason I got snubbed was because I was so grouchy. Grouchiness runs in my family on my paternal side. My dad is grouchy and so was his mother. It's kind of a natural thing and quite unattractive I've come to learn. I've worked on not being grouchy over the past several years--since I started watching General Conference regularly starting 1997. Now, I'm afraid to go back because:
A. I don't know anyone in the ward and I'd feel conspicuous sitting there alone.
B. I'm still sort of shy and I wouldn't want to embarrass myself by taking someone else's regular seat. I went one time and took a family's regular seat and you should have seen the glare the little boy kept giving me. Okay, he's just a little boy, I kept telling myself (I was in my 20's at that time), but that didn't help. It hurt me so badly, I never went back. Why didn't the parent's make him stop? Why must I be so sensitive and childish to let that get to me?

Anyway, I think I'd go back if I only had someone to sit with...at least at first. I don't have anyone. I guess it all sounds like a bunch of silly, flimsy excuses to keep from going, but it's how I feel.

At least I'm watching General Conference every Sunday from the tapes.

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