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Lonely(a cry for help)
Posted On 08/03/2012 22:25:32 by SierraMauchamer
As i lay her staring at the ceiling by my self, i notice the excruciating sound of silence. No one around to see my tears , no one around to hear my cry's for help , no one around to love or be loved. As i lay hear I think why am i not good enough, why am i not loved, i deserve happiness. I'm criticized, yelled at, shunned, and hated. I lay here in the only place i can cry, i put on a smile around family, but really every where i go i am holding in tears. I'm without anyone to talk to i'm without anyone to trust. The horrible feeling of being alone haunts me every day, the silence is worse then nails on a chalk board. my heart has broken down so far it may never get repaired. no one deserves this, my heart feels as if i have been thrown into solitary confinement, i am behind bars in my own emotions. Every day the loneliness eats me up inside more and more. Everyday i feel more lonely and no one understands, nothing helps my cry's continue to go unheard unseen, they don't see how fake my smile is they don't see the pain in my eyes, i have done nothing to deserve this, but yet i feel unworthy of life, no one cares that they have broken me down more than ever before, i have not laughed in ages, i have not had a sincere smile in what feels like decades, i have not had a moment that i have not felt agonizing pain. The second i realized i was all alone, with no one to understand to comfort me to help me to realize how much pain i really am in, my hear shattered, i became broken and every day i break a little more, to many sad emotions going through my heart and head every second, i don't get a break because yet no one has recognized what they have done to me. Who will come along, Who will come in to my life , who is going to help me build me up comfort me and love me, who? No one, People dont care their selfish, ignorant, and crude. I do not hate i do not dislike all i feel for people is disappointment. I only love but even then i does not matter all my love goes to waste. I used to glow, shine , laugh, smile, i used to have so much love, care, help, but loneliness prevents me from all these things, with no one around i cannot share these things, i try to keep my head high but for some reason they continue to break me down, no words are spoken to me, no conversations take place in my life no love comes my way, i know no one notices me, i have so much to offer but no one to take. i don't know what to do, i don't know how to fix myself so each day i sit here alone all by myself day by day as i watch my life pass by as my potential disappears as each moment turns to nothing, i sit here in silence with nothing, my life went for so much potential, so many goals to absolutely nothing, they don't realized how much they are truly hurting me how much they truly effect my life. I am going to blame all those who are around me they kick me when i am already down, they not only do that but they don't stop kicking. I need help but no one is around to listen, no one is willing to help, my life is nothing but a lonely mess, it feels as if i am living in a dark prison cell they i will never get out of, how much longer can i survive this, i was once strong but now i am . i was once the rock for all to lean on but i am now nothing but a wasted spirit, i was once surrounded by loving caring people but now i am surrounded by loneliness and tears, my one and only wish is that someone will come around to listen to hug me , to help me , to make me laugh but until then my life will continue to waste away pass me by as i go no where.

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Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

From: SierraMauchamer
08/05/2012 17:04:46
thank you guys so much for your support


From: John11111
08/05/2012 16:59:33
Your not alone ever, heavenly father is always watching over you. Sorry your having a rough time now. spiretteddotter has some very good and advice. We are always here to help with anything you need as well. Hope to hear form you soon we will keep you in our prayers.
John


From: spirettedotter
08/04/2012 00:09:34
You are not alone, Sierra, honey. There are so many of us who feel or have felt alone in our pain--yet we're NOT alone. Reading the words of others on our forum, you'll know you're not really alone. Not only are we here to listen, the Lord is with you. He will hold you when you most need it, if you allow yourself to feel His warmth, and the the healing power of the atonement. You now have the gift of the Holy Ghost to be your companion. You are strong, smart (making wonderful choices for yourself), beautiful, courageous, and capable of creating healing for yourself. You are a worthy child of God, and very LOVED. You're not captive by your emotions, sweetie. Your emotions are captive inside of you. Let your tears fall; they are valid and real. Feel the sadness locked inside you so it can discharge and renew your positive energy and light. Tell me about your pain. Where is it? Where did it come from? Why? How did you become burdened with it? What did THEY do to hurt you? If you could get the help you need, what would it be? Where could you imagine getting it? As you release the pain, you'll make room for more love. As you develop your relationship with the Lord, you'll feel more and more blessed. You'll learn to hear and feel the Spirit's guidance. Soon, you'll smile again. You'll know your core truth and feel confidence about how to help yourself. And you will WANT to help yourself. Before long, you'll feel good enough to help others with your strength, experience, and heart, which will make you feel even better. What ARE your goals? I'd love to hear your aspirations. If you COULD do anything you wanted, what would it be? I see a glimpse into your spirit and have faith in you. Hang in there. Take gentle care. Love and ((((HUGS))) ~ Spirette




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