Even after 2 years, I still find it very strange to consider myself divorced. Of course this is not the way I expected to be spending my "mature" years of life. I expected to be busy enjoying my grandchildren and traveling with my husband of many years. Instead, the reality is that I am single and I am 62 years old. I feel much younger in my thoughts and my heart. Even though my ex committed adultery and caused such pain and grief, he has never completely been out of the picture. Having experienced a "come to Jesus" moment, my ex now feels that he has seen the light and wants to "make it up to me" and become the husband he always wanted to be. Hmmm...this is not the first time I have witnessed such a change in his life. In fact, it is the second time. He was dis-fellowehipped for this recent sin and now, after one short year, was welcomed back. He will meet with the Stake Pres this coming Sunday to complete the process to obtain his temple rec. I have mixed feelings, to say the least. My consternation at this point is this: He wants to remarry and spend the rest of lives making a wonderful marriage together, having learned so much about how to make a lousy marriage not work. He believes he can love me and give me the best of himself. My dilemma is that I am 62 and we do own a beautiful home and he does make a great living and I do love him - but I am not "in love" with him. My time on this earth is limited. Do I remarry a sure thing and know that I will be able to care for him and make things work? Or do I struggle with being single and hope that maybe I will find a man that will thrill me from my toes to the top of my head? Am I delusional? This is the single most difficult problem I have faced in all my life. I am here, visiting my own home, where my ex is living with my daughter and her family. I have been living in Salt Lake with another daughter for 6 months, hoping that some distance would help me to make a decision. It hasn't helped. I love Salt Lake but I hate being single and not having my own home. Would someone please give me some perspective or thoughts on what I should do? I pray constantly and tomorrow I will go to the Temple. Monday, I have a therapy appointment. Maybe I know the answer but I'm just not willing to accept it. Am I too old to expect to feel the fireworks again?