The 180 plan is described by Michele Weiner-Davis in her book Divorce Busting. I will give a brief synopsis of the 180 plan described by Michele, but I would encourage you to read her whole book. She has also written The Sex-Starved Marriage, The Sex-Starved Wife, and Getting Through to the Man You Love.

Wasn’t it Albert Einstein who said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? Well the 180 plan as described by Michele is about doing something different (or completely the opposite) and getting different results.

On page 163 of her book, she outlines 4 steps:

1. Describe what you see as the problem. Recall what your spouse does that provokes you.

2. Assess how you have been handling the problem thus far. What single approach do you most commonly use to change your spouse’s behavior? (Although you may have tried varied approaches, which is most typical?)

3. Do a 180°. This step requires a leap of faith and is therefore the most difficult. You must begin doing the opposite of whatever you have been doing and do it in a credible and sincere manner.

4. When your spouse starts changing, stick with this plan. The worst mistake you can make is to go back to your old habits as soon as you see your spouse starting to act differently. It may be quite tempting to relax, but you must keep up your new behavior until you are convinced that your partner’s changes have become habits.

Tags: Marriage

Bookmark: