I am not perfect, as I write this entry in these blog, I am a sinner. There is hurt as I look back with the memories, and there is this question, why can't it be right. I tried so hard to make it right, maybe not the best, but it does not mean I did not give what was all of me. To be broken, to fail, to hurt, to anger, to wreck, to be hopeless, to be rejected, to be confused, to be alone, to empty, to be full of trash. Not easy. Sometime I would thought, I can never be perfect, was these a practice in my doom? I can avoid it, but it makes me think, was I not human anymore, do i need to remind that I am human, that all my hurt is so animalistic. Rather, even the devil itself does not deserve to pain like I do. Is it a sin to feel and think this way?