My letter to Daniel is posted at the end of this, but I figured I'd give an overall of my life lately. I dont want to be at the computer for very long though, so I think I'll just make a list.

Friday night me and Daniels family went to the Mall to see the Christmas Tree lighting. It was full of people and his sister flew down from Utah and his brother and sister-in-law and their kids were down from the high desert so everyone was there. Well, everyone except Daniel. As the tree lit up, it started to "snow." It was freezing and the atmosphere was just very Christmas-y. As I took it all in, tears ran down my cheeks. I pictured Daniel standing behind me warming me or next to me with my arm in his, keeping close to keep warm. I'm not sad that he wont be here this Christmas, it's just that 'tis the season to be with family and I'll be reminded often of how much I miss him. I've made it a sort of tradition to dress up and go walk the temple grounds all lit up each year at Christmas. As silly as it sounds... my whole life, I couldnt wait to be able to walk around the temple with a boy and just enjoy the company and surroundings.

Another thing that has been on my mind is keeping the sabbath. The principle has been one of interest to me my entire life. I have a strong testimony of keeping the sabbath and only doing those things that will bring me closer to The Lord but I also live in a home in which I am the only member and family is numero uno in The Lord's eyes. Throughout my life, I have developed a motto and understanding that I can always be better. I've got my prayer and scripture study habits down, time to pray longer and more sincerely or read more and more thoughtfully. My family has a place in Havasu, Az. and they go just about every weekend. I've often been torn between going with them, or staying home.. because I know if I go, I'll likely only go to Sacrament and not keep the sabbath at all. In my quest to do the right thing, Ive gone to Havasu and attended all 3 hours of church, and spent the rest of the day on the river or in the desert with my family, though I know this isnt keeping the sabbath. Even going to sacrament is an inconvenience to my dad, and going 3 hours certainly is because they have to schedule their day according to when to take me and pick me up. Every time I go, I'm encouraged and asked just to skip church. As I try to do my best though, I'm torn. Lately, Ive just decided to stay home from Havasu altogether but this is causing a problem as well. Because me and my dad have such busy schedules, I'm not exaggerating when I say that I see him for literally, about an hour a week. There are times when we go without seeing each other for 2 or 3 days straight even though we live in the same house. So we dont see each other all week, and then on the weekends he leaves town, and if I refuse to go with him so I can go to church, I'm exchanging my dad for church. Its gotten to the point that he and his gf are starting to think I dont like them.. and I think I'm better than them. Anyway, Ive decided going with them every so often is acceptable and I will do my best to attend church while I'm away. Still, there are many lines yet to be drawn that I have no idea where they go.

Am I right in attending my home ward again? I know absolutely nothing about YSA activities anymore, and therefore, dont attend anything when I'm supposed to be dating and having a social life. Then again, I'm not even 21 yet, which is the actual age to attend a singles ward.

I'm very happy with my life right now. It probably seems like everything Ive typed is slightly on the negative side, but despite that, I'm happy. Daniel makes me incredibly happy. I really would have us no other place than where we are right now. Having him out and being a part of his service is such a blessing to me. I cant describe it.

Hi Daniel,
I hope you got my package which would have been a day or two early.. and it's now a day late.. but Happy Birthday! I hope all went well and it was a good day for you. You're officially 20.. wow. Can you believe it? It seems like only yesterday we were FOURTEEN! Was Ariel baptized? How did that go? Did you do anything specifically because it was your birthday? As I'm sure you'll hear from everyone else, we went to Johnny Carino's Friday night to celebrate your parents anniversary.. I was celebrating your birthday inside as well. I made a cake that was absolutely delicious and the food was really good. I think it was definitely a hit and most everyone had a really good time. After the restaurant, we all went over to Victoria Gardens to watch them light their Christmas tree and see Santa. It was kind of emotional being with your family and not having you around but it was an enjoyable evening. Know that I love you and I think about you. I miss you so much and I'm so incredibly proud of you. Some of your siblings are skeptical about how well this Christmas will go.. I hope everyone can pull it together and its a happy time of year.
On Saturday I went shopping all day for Christmas presents and then went to your house to meet up with Rachel and Diane. Rachel was running a few errands so me and Diane went to Khols for a bit and then went to the Mills with Rachel when she got back. I've been making the effort to be friends with Diane. She's nice and I think she's just in a very unfortunate situation. Anyway, her and I have talked and gotten to know each other a bit which is nice. At the end of the night, Rachel and Diane got into a fight with just the 3 of us around, and I was kind of thrown into the middle of it. I didn't like it at all. I tried my hardest to remain exactly in the middle and not sway to either side. When each of them vented to me about the other, I just kept my mouth shut and didn't say a word. I think if I can do that for the rest of my life, I'll be safe. The night ended on a good note though. They're feelings toward each other softened throughout the night and all was well. When we got back to your house, Diane went to bed and me, Rachel, and your dad ended up having a really long and in-depth conversation about the Gospel. Your dad mostly spoke and me and Rachel listened, but it was a really pleasant surprise. When he left to go back upstairs, even Rachel remarked that it was unexpected but I admire your dad. I definitely see a lot of his qualities in you. He's a good guy.
Tonight there was a special adult temple fireside for 1st Ward in which President and Sister Bringhurst came and spoke about the temple. It was really great. Something that has been on my mind a lot lately is what I want my future life and home to be like, and there were a lot of things I heard tonight that I want in my home. I want so much for there to be no question who we serve when someone enters our home. I want our kids to be raised strong in the gospel and have parents that set a strong and faithful example in all areas of the gospel. Tonight Sister Bringhurst was talking about how much we should love the temple. She said, "We ought to attend the temple as often as our circumstances allow." She spoke of a man who could only go to the temple once a week because he lived 12 hours away.. that's 24 hour round trip. Then this man moved so that he was only 6 hours away and he then went twice a week! She told numerous stories like this and I hope that I am one that knows the importance of the temple and can and will make every effort to attend "as much as circumstances allow." She said that we should imagine being asked questions during judgment such as, "How many hours of TV did you watch per week? How many sports events did you go to? .. How often did you go to the temple? Could you have managed your time better?" It'll be a lot of work to get to that point, and I don't expect it all at once.. but I know it's possible.
This Tuesday I'm going to the spa with my grandma, Sis, and Britt. I'm excited. I'm going to get a massage because my back has absolutely been killing me lately. I'm also just excited because I get to spend time with my grandma, Sis, and Britt. I really enjoy hanging out with the family. Wednesday is Christy's birthday and we are going to go eat with her family either at Black Angus or Omaha Jacks. She's going to be 44. I got her a few shirts, some spray and lotion from Victoria Secret, and a picture frame that says something about being a friend and sister. I'm excited to give them to her. I'm also excited about Christmas. I've decided to put a lot of thought into each gift I give this year and its really causing some difficulty but I want everyone to know I care about them and love them.. so I'm really trying to think of things I know they'll like. I've actually already got a significant amount of shopping done. Anyway, then Thursday is Thanksgiving and after visiting each family (mine and Christy's).. and hopefully squeezing your family in at Cheryl's, we are going to go to the river for the weekend.
How are you? What's new? What's been on your mind lately? What have you been studying? I didn't get a letter again.. hopefully I'll just get it late and only getting letters every other week is not the new norm. (I don't think it has, but if anything has changed concerning us, let me know.) Do you need anything? Could you use anything for Christmas?
If you have any thoughts or anything to respond to from the tape I sent, I would love to hear it. I love you so much and I'm so grateful you're part of my life. Thank you for making the choices that you're making and just for being you. I was reading a manual called "Eternal Marriage" the other day in institute and in talking about true love, a general authority said that true love is when someone makes you want to be the absolute best you can be. You make me want to be better and I thank you for your example. I love you.

Thinking of you,
Naomi

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