I grew up within the confines of the Latter-day Saint faith. I knew nothing of apologetics or any other technical religious terms. The only thing I knew was that which I was taught in my youth. Unfortunately, I was what one would call a "weak" member of the faith. Although I had always borne my testimony, there was no true testimony that anchored me. While there was a strong grasp of scriptural understanding, when it came to personaly faith, I was lacking.
Yet, being a person who believes that all things happen for a reason and a purpose in our lives, I would not go back and change anything that had happened in my life. We all make our journey and sometimes have to experience things more than others. Life is the fire test we all have to walk through no matter what. Even when one thinks they are sitting on the sidelines, life is cruel and mean at times; calm and peaceful other times. Life is what we make of it.
What caused me to make the journey I had traversed was my own personal apostasy. One in which (to this date) I am still walking in, and hopefully walking out of. The change and the outlook, the understanding and the knowledge I have gained through this journey took me into the different realms of religious thought. Starting with the Pentecostal and Charismatic movement and going into the Calvinistic Tradition and Reformed Theology. A search to answer the ever pervasive question: Of all the religions of the world, which one is the true Church of God? To the modern Protestant and Evangelical mainstream Christians, it is Christianity as they understand it. No matter what denominational alignment one is, Christianity as a whole is understood in their own confines of interpretations and understanding of what they call Biblical doctrines and truth. To the Mormon's, it is the restored Gospel of Jesus Christ in these last days, in the dispensation of the fulness of times and the restoration of the family, marriage, community and priesthood authority to teach and act on God's behalf.
As I studied to find answers and to give a justifiable defense for the Mormon faith and religion, I started questioning some of the teachings personally. The issue here is that I relied upon my own intellectual reasoning and understanding and allowed the seeds of doubt to sow in my heart. It was when these seeds blossomed that I started finding myself on the other side of the fence, defending what I believed to be the Historical Christian faith against the heretical teachings of the Mormon Church, the doctrines of the foundations and pillars of so many people who have come to embrace Mormonism and the influence it has on their lives. For the most part, I became antagonistic, border-line Anti-Mormon and started studying more. The more I studied, the more my doctrine and theology changed.
It was not until I examined and embraced the doctrines of the Calvinistic persuasion and faith that I started questioning some of the things again. Once more, seeds of doubt fell onto the fertile grounds of my heart and being. It was no sooner than that I found myself abandoning all forms of religious discussions, teachings, doctrines and stopped attending any church. I lost sight of truth and light and became just a being wandering aimlessly through life.
What then happened was my interest in religion, doctrine, teaching, history and archaeology that thrusted me back into religious discussions and debates. The more I started to defend what I believed to be true Christian teachings, the more I began questioning and being drawn back to the LDS Faith to examine the teachings. A fresh pair of eyes and I started seeing bits and pieces starting to fall into place.
The only thing I have to battle and combat is the pride that I have to swallow, become humble enough and repentent to do what needs to be done to make the progressive return back into the LDS Faith.
Tags: Repentence Apostasy Biblical Studies Search For Truth