So while in the process of cleaning out our second bedroom, I found a bunch of my old journals. I always feel embarrassed to read through and see how immature I really was, but I've concluded that it must mean that I've grown up a bit since then. I don’t know why I wanted to post some of the things I've written. There's just something kinda cool about putting things out there without knowing who might read it, but still, I hope that it doesn't seem like I'm fishing for compliments or anything. Anyway, I'm just going to hurry up and stop rambling before I make a bigger fool out of myself...

A Mother's Blessing
Patience my darling, good things are on their way. It's the longsuffering that end up with the reward. Choose wisely and always be looking to the future. Do not get caught up in a moment, for that is all it is, and soon it will be gone, bringing you with it. Heartache will come, but it will mold you, and make your future decisions more educated. Take your time. Follow your heart, but don’t run on it's time for it is far too impulsive. You have a good head about you. Use it, but remember you are not alone. Fall to your knees as often as you can. Those who keep the Lord as their constant companion are those who delight in the fullest of joy. Endure all placed in your path, for that is the test of this world. As you go, reach to those who have fallen. Your hands bring God's love. Stand tall in all you do, stand up for what is right. For you, my darling, are the best of the best. You are a daughter of God.
-January 4, 2002

I live for today, but remember the past.
The lessons are learned from, but the mistakes are forgiven.
I try to live to have no regrets, but I won't beat myself up if I need repentance.
I try to love myself, because I'm all I've got.
I may not like every part of me, but those don't outweigh the potential I know I have.
Heavenly Father hasn't asked me to be spotless, but He's shown me what I can be and left no excuses.
There is no justification for my life being a failure.
I will know my divine role, and I will be:
Daughter, Missionary, Friend, Teacher, Wife, Mother, and Servant.
-November 23, 2002

Before You, And Now.....
I heard the words, I thought I knew,
How happy I'd be to be loved by you.
Love songs played and stories told,
Of love found young, together grown old.
Twenty years and I thought I'd had my fill.
I told myself, "Great love I will,
Find when fate brings him to me,
And forever happy we will be.
We'll have joy like none before
The world has seen, and even more.
No word will tell, all far too dim,
Just how much love I'll have for him.
Oh yes, I know how it will play.
Together we'll walk, year month and day.
A perfect love we two will share.
He'll fit right in, our lives merged there.
Even for cynics who push it away,
Ever after comes anyway."
Of course I was right, what else could I be?
I'd stay my course, and love finds me!
Then there you were, I was taken aback.
My rambling stopped, the words I lacked.
Those poets, I now understood.
Now with their eloquence I wish I could
Express the pumping of my heart,
How we never want to be apart.
Now I confess, I spoke with haste.
I thought that I had words to waste.
One year in, "expert" I be,
And finally i am brought to see,
I'd heard the words, I thought I knew,
But nothing compares to loving you.
-November 10, 2004

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