Sitting in a pew alone.  That's one of the worst things you have to do as a new convert.  I admit, it's hard for me to do when my wife is ill.  I'd rather tie myself to her and not go to church without her.  She does that to me.  She hates going to church without me.  New converts sit there alone.  Some times their families and get to sit together, sometimes thier just alone.

That lonely feeling like everyone is watching you.  That's hard to endure.  You feel like you're being scrutinized by everyone and no one at the same time.  You can't wait 'til the meetings over so you can scurry on to class or home. 

I think one of the problems is that we always choose to sit in the back.  You think if you're far enough back you can duck your head down and no one will notice you.  That's a problem in my opinion.

What I've done, and what you should do, is try to sit as close to the front as you can.  Let people see who you are and that you're not going to be affraid and intimidated.  Because you shouldn't be.  You are a son/daughter of God.  He wants you in the front row.

You ever notice that the people in the front row everyone seems to know.  They are liked and likeable.  That's where you should be.  In the front row.

My Dear SisterHatch315, thank you for your comments.  I know what you mean and I for one am proud of you for going to those activities and continually trying.  It is particularly hard for members your age to break into some of those clickish groups.  Know that I and the Lord knwo your struggles and plight.  I pray you do not give up and that you break into those groups that you want to and can co-exist with those you can't break into.  We can never say we didn't want to hang out with everyone because we did.  We want to love them all.  It is hard.

I still feel left out sometimes after all these years of being a member.  I envy my son sometimes.  He is so friendly, and naive, about people that he doesn't realize when he's being picked on or when the clicks are shutting him out.  I wish I could be that oblivious.  It does detract from his character in other areas.  But just to be able to wonder through the mire of the mental ping pong without a clue as to who doesn't like you or is talking about you, what a wonderful feeling it must be.

He's someone that can truly say he loves everyone with all of his heart.  I've never noted in him any malice or dislike for anyone.  I'd give a thousand dollars to be more like him.  Someday, someday I will be. 

Goodluck to you sweet SisterHatch315.  I will be praying with you.

captian15, i am a recent convert. even though there are people who are so friendly and welcoming,and they make me feel apart of it all they are also not.....kind of both i guess...i go out for ysa activities and sometimes i feel weird because they talk about the past when i wasnt there or they invite only certian people to a movie activity because they dont know if the new person likes it or they just dont want too.......i know what you are saying!...i have tons of friends in my ward, and in other wards, but i also sometimes feel left behind and that now that i am not an investigater, every one has moved on........i go to every activity the church has, unless i have to work and try to get out there....but it is just so lonely at times......the clicks of the ysa my age are so strong it is hard to break into them

I think you misunderstand what I am writing, PedersenL.  I'm not saying that I'm personally having difficulty in making friends or with my ward.  I was just enunciating how new converts often feel, or even people who move to different wards.  It's good that your ward makes everyone feel welcome.  I especially liked your story about the couple that was re-baptized.

You see, from a new converts perspective, such a big change can be daunting.  It puts you into such unfamiliar territory.  It's very hard to swim in deep waters and you still, in many cases but not all, have many issues to deal with.  I know some people dealing with smoking habits, and some dealing with other forms of addiction.  It makes you look differently at those around you and sometimes makes you feel affraid.

The point of what I was getting at is that you have to go through that and be willing to change.  You have to believe that the people there with you do care about you and love you.  You have to believe that they want you to succeed and you need to get involved as your inactive couple did.

Most importantly, what I was getting at is that it is all a choice.  A powerful choice that can bring great joy and happiness.

Yes as long-time members we need to reach out to those who are new to the church.  Capitan15, in my ward, we welcome everyone (investigators and all).  When people get in my ward they know that they have a family, no matter who they are.  We are always welcoming new people.  Our activities get everyone involved.  We recently had two people get rebaptized after being out of the church for a number of years.  Everyone was happy for them.  When we have missionary baptisms, many ward members show up.  Give your ward a chance, and get to know them.