I wrote a blog titled "The power of hate" a couple months ago and I am taking this full swing the other direction.

I was commenting on how strong the adversary is and how influential his works can be in our lives. Hate and anger are two of his most powerful functions and it is SOOOO easy to fall into that trap. My life has been filled with situations that have made me unhappy with someone and in a couple situations, actually despising someone for their actions against me. Its sad really. I let Satan get my goat... and I was the only one that paid for the anger. The person I was angry with received nothing for it and that made me even angrier. Lately I have had a tough go of it with my feelings towards my wife, of whom is abandoning 16 years of marriage. I have mentioned it before so its really not new news but I feel that its important to hear the lessons that I have learned in this drama in case it helps to put a different perspective on something you are going through.

I am no scriptorian. Not even close. I know what I know from reading them but I could not cite or even find a specific reference if my life depended on it. I was in a conversation with a boneheaded Bishop (the man behind the desk, not the actual position itself) and it was regarding repentance and the Atonement. We got into a conversation about forgiving someone and then "forgetting" their trespass against us. He boldly told me, in his PERSONAL opinion of course, that we have to forgive but we will never forget and that the scriptures say specifically that we don't have to. I had to cry foul becuase all the references that I have ever read say basically 'forgive 7 times 70' or 'turn the other cheek' and even to forgive and forget.

I know that we will never really "forget" a trespass against us. Its not human nature to do so. When someone has offended you it becomes burned into the brain that they are not to be trusted like that again. I agree with that process as I still remember many things that were done against me through the course of my life but I do know that I have forgiven them for those trespasses and I'd like to say that I have even 'forgot' the trespass simply becuase they have proven to me that they were sincere in asking for forgiveness. We are not to hold a grudge. Period.

What the guy was trying to tell me was that he felt it ok to "forgive the sin but never trust them again". Hmmm. Doesn't it say somewhere that any man who gives of a gift grudgingly might as well have not given it at all? I guess if you were in a position where you were sinned against by someone and you forgave them and they proved that they were not worthy of your trust that you would have reason to not put yourself in that position again. After all, you can only be a victim once, especially if you allow them to do it again. However, you have to try or forgiveness is worthless.

I am learning that forgiveness is unconditional. If I am going to truly forgive someone for their actions I have to truly let it go. It is a forgetting of sorts. I can not hold it against them, use it for leverage later on in life and I MUST acept my own forgiveness and not allow judgement for it. I may not trust them to the same depths that I did before, until they prove that they are worthy of that trust, but I can not hold it over their head. Burn me once, your bad. Burn me twice, my bad.

I love my wife dearly. She has made some rash decisions from her perspective of me. I can't change that. I forgive her. I pity her. I wish that she truly understood the Atonement and what it means in our lives. God will forgive. Christ paid for it. I will forgive. I owe it to Him. Maybe one day she will understand the power of forgiveness. Its much stronger than hate and its far more fulfilling in your life. Hate degrades your soul, forgiveness patches up the holes and fills it with light.

Grant

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