Daniel,

   I just got your letters and I'd just like say that I love you. You make me happy. You're exactly what I'd like for my eternal companion. You make me want to be better and you encourage and support me. You console me while letting me know that I still need to press forward. I was happy to read your letter about your meeting with President Hobbs. Its probably fair to say that those are my favorite parts of your letters... hearing about your meetings with him. Thank you for saying that he would like me. I would hope that President Hobbs would like me.. he definitely sounds like a man worth being liked by. I think that after you've been home a while, we should go back there and you could give me a tour of your mission. I'd LOVE to meet President Hobbs and anyone still around that you may have worked with. I dont know.. maybe a honeymoon trip?

   Anyway, I was happy to hear about your conversation with him about you wanting to do what is right. It boosted my faith that we still have things in common... because I, more than anything in the world, want to do what is right. I strive everyday to live The Lord's will and do what is right. I want so much to smile at someone that needs a smile or be there to talk or listen to someone when they need it.. and I want so much to be an example of Christ and a tool to bring about His plan.. to bring about goodness and righteousness. I stumble because I'm not perfect but I want nothing more. Reading about your conversation with him not only made me feel like we still have things in common.. but it made me feel like we really do have a deep down intimate relationship.. like, we are two people that really are compatible and really do compliment each other... two people that really do have the potential to be eternal companions. As I've said, I want to be worthy of you when you get home and realizing that a part of my spirituality is similar to yours, made me feel like I can be.. like I will be.

   You said in your letter that I should not compare my spiritual progression to yours. I agree that I should compare to none other than myself.. but I also think that if I want to be the best I can be, why not aim to progress in the way that a missionary progresses? The fact is, if I'm not your spiritual equal when you get home, you'll find someone who is. You dont need someone who will deter or hinder you. You dont need someone that will slow you down. In fact, you'll need exactly the opposite.. you'll need someone who will encourage you to continue to raise the bar.. someone who will further your progression rather than deter it. Someone who will push you and stimulate you. All I'm saying is that I want to be a person who can do the latter rather than the former. You're right.. I felt like I was backsliding for a moment but the only thing we can do is repent and move forward. Which, I completely agree and that's why even though I told you I was feeling insecure.. I also told you that I was okay, hopeful, remaining faithful, and to be happy and not worry. I know the power of the Atonement -- it's the most significant thing in my life. Thank you for loving me and doing all you do for me simply by being you. I love you.

   You said that you feel unworthy of the compliments President Hobbs gives you. I think that's a good thing.. it shows humility. Speaking of which, you once thought that you were very prideful and President Hobbs even told you once that you needed to be cautious about pride. I dont remember his exact words or that conversation that you had with him.. but I know that your Christ-like attribute was humility twice (?) and that it was once something to think about. What are your thoughts about your pride now? Do you feel that you are prideful? I dont know if my opinion matters much on the topic but I will say that I've sensed a change in your letters. There was a time that I worried about your pride as well.. but I now see you as a man that only wants to fulfill his potential.. a man that only wants to do his best. You know what is right and are seeking to do those things and help others do those things as well. There was once a time where I think you felt that everything was either black or white and short comings simply needed to be fixed... no excuses. Today, I see that same belief.. but only now it includes love, empathy, and understanding. There's a fine line surrounded by humility, it seems. The chiseled exterior now appears more softened with Christ-like love. I love you and I'm proud of who you're becoming.

   So completely off topic.. yesterday me, my dad, and shawn were talking about last summer when I broke one of my ribs. I dont think I ever told you.. but uh.. I broke a rib last summer. Lol. Dont worry, I'm fine. I also really hurt my toe and couldn't bend it for like, 9 months.. but it's all good now.

   We're going to the river for 4 days for Memorial weekend.. I'm excited. I hope that you dont completely resent the river when you get home because you know it's caused some problems for me. It's something I've really struggled with but it's something that I want to remain a part of my life and want my kids and husband around with me. It's not my top priority and will certainly never be, but I'll expect my husband to understand and help me find a middle ground between my dad, his life.. and our life.       

   This letter is getting extremely long so I'll make these next few things brief. 

   I went to a service project last night. We swam, bbq'd, and sang karaoke with mentally disabled adults. It was AWESOME. I was assigned to swim with a girl named Jessica.. she's 25 and in a wheel chair so we put her in an inner tube and I swam her around the pool, played volleyball.. and sang Selena together. Lol. When it was over, me and some friends went to Denny's. It was a lot of fun.

   Finals week is this week. I've got a lot of work to do. Pray for me.

   I'm thinking of transfering to Cal Poly. My dad is getting frustrated with tuition at La Verne.. and honestly, if I'd known ULV was on a semester schedule, I would have never gone there. I think being on semesters is a real problem for me.. it demotivates me because there's so much time to slack in a 16 week class.. whereas there's hardly anytime to slack on a 10 week program. ::sigh:: So I've got a lot to figure out. I might just go to Mt. Sac until I get things settled. Decisions.. decisions.

   It is now Sunday night at 10pm. I just got home more or less. Church today went well. A few us of carpooled out to Greg's baptism and that went really well.. and then we caught the last half of a fireside in Glendora. It was an excellent Sunday.

   I love you very much and I'm looking forward to my next letter/tape. I would love some pictures, by the way. You're on my mind and in my prayers. I love you!

 

::muah::

Naomi