I was in a poor mood tonight because I woke up around 9pm to my dad, his gf, my lil bro and his friend drinking and taking shots in the kitchen. After dinner tonight, we all sat down to rest and I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to them taking shots and picking up alcohol and then leaving. After getting over my annoyance, I decided to go look for them. I went to the house that I thought they were at but they weren't there. I had no idea where they were until just now.. its 1:30am. I was semi-annoyed, semi-worried.
This weekend at the river has been an interesting one. It rained the first two days we were here and then this morning my dad woke up to having his tire on his new truck slashed. We have no idea who did it. We borrowed a friends car and I went to church. As a side note: It was a really good day at church. A lot of people remembered me from last summer and they were really friendly. The lessons were really good and I just really enjoyed being there. Everyone has been incredibly sick this weekend.My dads gf (Christy) had a really high fever, my dad and (lil bro) Shawn are just getting over a cold, and our friends (Tommy and Tracy) are really sick so they've been inside all weekend. The two times that we've gone out on the water, we took the boat out.. which basically means that we parked the boat in the cove and I sat there completely bored while everyone drank. I told my dad that I wouldn't be coming out to the river much this summer. He got really mad but he can't expect me to leave my ward and my social life to sit around tolerating a bunch of drunks while acting like I'm enjoying their company. We used to come to the river to spend time as a family and actually play and use our toys.. but now they come to socialize and sit around doing nothing. My dad doesnt realize it but he is inadvertently picking that lifestyle and his friends over me. I'm not hurt by it.. but it IS incredibly unfortunate and quite a disappointment. I love coming to the river to jet ski and tube and have fun with the family.. it's a lifestyle I absolutely love.. a lifestyle that is a huge part of me.. but ::sigh::.. what can ya do?
School is over. Its weird to think that I'll go home and wont have to go to school. It's also really odd that I dont feel the relief that comes with school being over. I SOOO much look forward to that feeling but I dont feel lighter or refreshed or anything like that. I think it's because so much is still unsettled. I should probably be taking summer school this summer because I dont want to be completely unproductive but its getting late and I havent registered for classes. I have no idea where I'm attending school in the fall. Wherever I attend, I have no idea where the money for that is coming. My dad is getting really upset about the finances he spends on me.
I feel really overwhelmed with everything going on in my life right now. I really want Daniel to come home. I miss him so much. I'm not about to tell him any of this but I feel like my life will suddenly become so much easier when he's here. I have no idea if that's true or not.. because we'll have things to figure out between he and I.. and well, life will always be difficult, at best.. but suffice it to say, I'm looking forward to his return. Today in Gospel Doctrine, we read Mosiah 18-24. We had a discussion about Mosiah 24:15 where in the end it says, "they did submit cheerfully and with patrience to all the will of The Lord." It's something that I enjoyed being reminded of and it's been on my mind all day. I feel like I've been tried a lot lately.. I dont know the reason or if there actually has been an increase in trials.. but I need to remember to "endure WELL" and submit cheerfully. Someone made a really good point in Gospel Doctrine. He said that each of us knew the trials we would face on earth and agreed to them. That made me think of something Joseph Smith said.. he said that we knew the exact vissisitudes we would face and that we willingly signed up for them. That made me think about me in the pre-existence and being willing to endure through verything I'm going through. I knew then that I could do it.. nothing has changed. I knew exactly what I signed up for so I just need to go through with it and do it. The Lord doesnt give us anything we cant handle and in fact.. every trial is just enough so that we can earn our salvation.. so that we can earn our seat next to Abraham and Joseph and those that have gone before us. The lesson really boosted my desire to endure well and be cheerful. It also boosted my faith that I CAN endure and get through this.
I've been trying really hard to be diligent in my prayer and scripture study. I feel like The Lord has blessed me with insight into the scriptures like Ive never had before. I've been able to read more slowly and understand more clearly. Ive been able to understand exactly what I'm reading and remember cross references and make other connections. I've been able to understand words and phrases that I've previously just read over. Its an awesome blessing and I'm incredibly thankful for it. I would absolutely love to be a scholar of the scriptures.. well, as well as I can be.
Thats all for now.
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