Though you will never read this I feel an urgency to write it. Even if I were to give it to you in person you wouldn't understand a word of what I write. But yet I have to write it.
Dad I want you to know just how much I love you. Words can't describe the love I have for you. You have been my strength, my support, my ally.
I don't even know where to begin. You helped bring me into this world and for that I will be eternally grateful. I've gone from the little girl who adored her father, to the teenager who thought you had no compassion whatsoever, to the adult who went back to adoring her father.
There were so many times in my life that you weren't physically there. I know your career in the Navy took you away from us so much. Days, week, months went by without you being home. Yet you were always with us.
Of course I could have gone without the hours of endless lectures that later on became the joke among our family. But what I wouldn't give now to hear one of those lectures again. Even one of them.
Family vacations will always be such a joyous memory of mine. You worked so hard saving money so we could have a family vacation each year. Or at least every other year. While some may not think of them as overly exciting...I always enjoyed them. Our Saturday drives are another thing I will never forget. We'd get in the car...never knowing where we were going but just drive. Wow some of the most interesting things were found when we did drives like that.
You taught me right from wrong. You brought me up in the Gospel and taught me to love my Heavenly Father. I may not always have lived up to those expectations but you did teach me. Your example meant a lot to me. I remember when you were a member of different Bishoprics and getting those phone calls in the middle of the night. Never once did I hear you complain about having to go out and assist someone who was in need. To give a blessing when needed. You always willing accepted callings and responsibilities and put every ounce of strength you had into them.
Strength...you were the strong one. You were my dad. Of course you were strong. But alas...time has a way of getting away from us. Disease has a way of taking over. The once strong person I knew is now gone. But your sense of humor sure hasn't left you.
Now disease is destroying your body. Doctors say I will only have you for a few months more. Oh how my heart aches knowing this. I find myself breaking into uncontrollable sobs.
Yet, the gospel that you made sure I knew and taught me...let's me know..that once your journey here on earth ends, no longer will you have this disease. You will be made whole and well again. While it's hard to let you go this knowledge is also a comfort.
Dad again I want you to know just how much I love you. I will miss you terribly.
Love, your daughter.
ps...It was in the heart of the Heart Stein Mountains.