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To my Dad
Posted On 03/17/2009 21:01:56 by pam

Though you will never read this I feel an urgency to write it.  Even if I were to give it to you in person you wouldn't understand a word of what I write.  But yet I have to write it.

 

Dad I want you to know just how much I love you.  Words can't describe the love I have for you.  You have been my strength, my support, my ally. 

 

I don't even know where to begin.   You helped bring me into this world and for that I will be eternally grateful.  I've gone from the little girl who adored her father, to the teenager who thought you had no compassion whatsoever, to the adult who went back to adoring her father.

 

There were so many times in my life that you weren't physically there.  I know your career in the Navy took you away from us so much.  Days, week, months went by without you being home.  Yet  you were always with us. 

 

Of course I could have gone without the hours of endless lectures that later on became the joke among our family.  But what I wouldn't give now to hear one of those lectures again.  Even one of them.

 

Family vacations will always be such a joyous memory of mine.  You worked so hard saving money so we could have a family vacation each year.  Or at least every other year.  While some may not think of them as overly exciting...I always enjoyed them.  Our Saturday drives are another thing I will never forget.  We'd get in the car...never knowing where we were going but just drive.  Wow some of the most interesting things were found when we did drives like that.

 

You taught me right from wrong.  You brought me up in the Gospel and taught me to love my Heavenly Father.  I may not always have lived up to those expectations but you did teach me.  Your example meant a lot to me.  I remember when you were a member of different Bishoprics and getting those phone calls in the middle of the night.  Never once did I hear you complain about having to go out and assist someone who was in need.  To give a blessing when needed.   You always willing accepted callings and responsibilities and put every ounce of strength you had into them.

 

Strength...you were the strong one.  You were my dad.   Of course you were strong.  But alas...time has a way of getting away from us.  Disease has a way of taking over.  The once strong person I knew is now gone.   But your sense of humor sure hasn't left you. 

 

Now disease is destroying your body.  Doctors say I will only have you for a few months more.  Oh how my heart aches knowing this.   I find myself breaking into uncontrollable sobs. 

 

Yet, the gospel that you made sure I knew and taught me...let's me know..that once your journey here on earth ends, no longer will you have this disease.  You will be made whole and well again.   While it's hard to let you go this knowledge is also a comfort.

 

Dad again I want you to know just how much I love you.   I will miss you terribly.

 

Love, your daughter.

 

ps...It was in the heart of the Heart Stein Mountains.   

 

 



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Viewing 1 - 8 out of 8 Comments

From: Iggy
03/19/2009 23:37:09

Pam,


You are such a wonderful daughter.


 


Just a few months before my Dad passed I had the opportunity to be with him. We had such a wonderful Heart to Heart. I was able to tell him how much I respected and loved him. He told me how he regretted not being around very much for us kids. He worked the midnight shift - thus while we were sleeping he was working. While we were in school, he was sleeping. I told him not to regret that part of his life. He was ALWAYS there when we needed him. My Dad died from his one and only heart attack.


 


My Mother-In-Law, on the other hand, suffers from the same disease as your Father. Husband sent her a beautiful card about a week before we got to Missouri to spend Thanksgiving with her. She knew it was from her eldest son and his new wife. She carried it around with her and read it all the time.


 


We gave her a Thanksgiving card and then we gave her a Birthday card (her birthday was Dec 14) before we left. All three cards were in her purse the day of the fatal car accident.


 


Write your letter to your Dad on a card for him. When he reads it he will read that his daughter loves him. It could easily spark his memory enough for him to remember. Even if it doesn't, for those short moments when he reads it, his heart will be touched. If you have a picture of you when you were a teen, I would insert that in a card made on your computer and give it to him.


 


The disease he has hasn't erased his memories, it has just jumbled them up and has not inprinted the more recent ones.


 


My Mother-in-law remembered her sons as children- she could not remember them as adults. She also didn't remember any of her grandchildren.


 


{{{hugs}}} for you- Love Iggy



From: Truegrits
03/19/2009 17:26:31

Pam, my heart goes out to you.  What a beautiful letter.  I really do know some of what you are feeling.  My father passed away three months ago, and I miss/think of him every day.  Daddy knew I loved him, for I told him so, every day.  You should give this letter to your 'Dad.'


 


 


A big hug from me to you. ~Daune~



From: Canuck Mormon
03/19/2009 13:04:24

Pam that is so touching. When I read it, I was reminded of my father. Even though he is still alive, it reminded me of my rebelious years, then learning to trust him and accept his advice.


 


Sorry to hear that you don't have much time left with him, but he's raised a great daughter, who has raised great kids, so his legacy and spirit will live on.


 


Peace be with you and your family.



From: Elphaba
03/18/2009 16:56:52
Me again. I was going to ask why you don't send this to him?


From: Elphaba
03/18/2009 16:56:27

Pam, you made me sob. I'm so sorry your dad will not be here much longer, I can't imagine that kind of pain.


 


I'm thinking of you. I love you. Elph



From: StrawberryFields
03/17/2009 23:30:29

Pam,


 


That was beautiful.


 


My prayers are with you and your family.


 


Hugs, SF



From: alliecat
03/17/2009 21:57:03
Stay strong! My mom lost her battle with cancer in 1997. But knowing that she had a strong faith was a comfort! And I'm glad to hear your dad's faith is comforting you as well! Treasure those good memories, because they help you get through the rough times!

Alice



From: Yellowhill
03/17/2009 21:09:14
What a masterpiece, you letter touch me and reminded me of my Dad who died in 1994, very so loved. Thank you so much for sharing this.




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