You know those times when God is quiet? Im having one of those weeks/days where I am not hearing a lot so I am being quiet too. Listening for as some of my friends here have suggested, that still small voice. In some of my comments I have heard and maybe it was God talking too because the verse came to mind to me earlier today that a good tree bears good fruit.
I think maybe God wants me to search. To read, to ask. I have been thinking about inviting missionaries over.
I want the house to be clean first of course
That is not always so easy with two munchkins. I have not been getting the hours I need at work, we are barely getting by, I am knee deep in the study of medical terminology and all the while I am waiting for that certainty. I feel like I can bare the rest if only I am sure of who God is. Where he is.
I am afraid that I want this and so my mind will convince me it is true. Its sort of embarrassing to admit and I am sure that some of you really dont like the show but though I have always had an interest in LDS, it was watching Big Love that sparked my interest again. My husband has joked that I must be hinting at wanting sister wives but I dont and I know the show does not dipict true LDS for the most part. There are things in the show I dont want to see but the family dinamic is so alluring. As upset as some LDS where that the show would dipict temple cloathing, I saw the character Barbs experiance and it almost made me cry. It was so beautiful and I wanted to know that. To sit with people that I know I would know and love in enternity.
I feel so sorry for those people who really do live on compounds. We have one here in BC in a place called Golden. Being so close to the truth and yet so far away. Thats how my Protastant faith felt. It breaks my heart.
Thank you everyone for your comments.
I have hope I may find my way after all. Pray my husband does too please. He is so unsure about all of Christianity and yet he knows there is a God, knows there are moral truths.
Thank you again.

Ashley

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