Sitting in church last week, I began thinking about something our last stake president used to speak about. He told us that there is very little that he knows. He doesn't know God lives. He doesn't know Jesus is our Savior. He doesn't know the Book of Mormon is true or that this church is God's church. He does, however, believe these things, and that is enough for him (and, apparently, for the Lord, since he was called to be a stake president.)

Since that time, I haven't professed to know things I once said to have known. I can understand how it might seem like my testimony is not as strong as it was when I professed to know things. But I don't feel any farther from God, nor do I feel like I have less faith. I believe in God, in Christ, in the scriptures, the church, and our living prophet just as much now as ever.

Sitting there, I picked up a pen and paper and wrote down the feelings and thoughts I was having: "Nothing good, light, or happy - the feelings I enjoy the most - gives me any reason to doubt my testimony." Do I know that God lives? Do I know Jesus Christ suffered and was resurrected to save and redeem us? Do I know Joseph Smith saw God and translated the Book of Mormon? Do I know the experiences recorded in the Bible are real? Do I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is led today by Jesus through a living prophet? The answer to these and many other questions is no. But do I need to know? No. Believing them and trying to live them feels good, brings light to my life, and makes me happy. Are there reasons to doubt these things? Yes. But none of these things fits with those feelings (good, light, and happy) that I want to be a part of my life.

One day, I just might stand before God and be able to say that I know his existence. Until then, I am satisfied simply believing in and pursuing those things that bring me goodness, light, and happiness.

Tags: Testimony Doubt Faith Good Disbelief Positive Negative Thing Know Knowledge

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