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The Journey has begun...
Posted On 05/05/2009 23:47:23 by spiritseeker

I have begun my journey back to the life I once knew.  It's funny when the missionaries first spoke of our pre-mortal existence it wasn't strange.  It was like a light was turned on inside of me and I remembered! I really can't believe all that's happened to me over the past year or so...  If any of you knew me then you would say it is a miracle!!!  I am was far from the "Mormon" image.   I was and still am some what a scared child in a man's body. But , today I have hope that what I was is not who I am or who I will become.  I am rambling but there is so much I wish I could express.

I grew up in a less than an ideal home.  Both my parents were alcoholics and to this day the smell of alcohol makes me extremely uncomfortable.  My mother was emotionally distant and sadistic.  She loved to play with your mind.  One moment you were her favourite and the next you were the most horrid child and she would smack you around for your own good or so she would say...  My father was abusive in ways that are to gross to speak of , it suffices to say he stole my innocence.  And, warped what ever purity of thought I might have possesed.  I grew up afraid and withdrawn filled with shame and guilt.  When I grew older I began to drink and use drugs and tried to find love in all the wrong places!!!  My life had been an empty shell of existence... until....

Two young men from the Church began to show me that what satan had me convinced I was is not who I really was.  All my life I have known that God existed I can't explain why but , it was always there.  Ironically I always felt He would never love me.  I was too dirty , too unlovable... But through the ministry of missionaries and the love of the Saints I have begun to learn that I am a child of God.  And, the past is just that the past!  It no more defines me than the colour of my eyes.  My real father is in the heavens and He loves me more than I can ever begin to grasp.  And I have a family of brothers and sisters throughout the world so I am not alone.... Satan is the father of lies....  but I am a child of truth!!!

Tags: Convert Church Covenant Atonement



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Viewing 1 - 2 out of 2 Comments

From: LonelyGargoyle
05/06/2009 07:19:13

Sounds like as a child you entered a long, dark tunnel full of monsters and serpents----got to be so hard on a child.  But you've seen the light at the end of that awful tunnel and have emerged into a new light that bestows happiness, optimism, and feelings of acceptance and love.  All I can say is "WAY TO GO!"  I hope this light continues to grow brighter and warmer for you, Spiritseeker. 



From: freeatlast2008
05/06/2009 01:31:20

Thank you for sharing your feelings. You are right, the past is the past! Good luck in all that you seek out.



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