When you feel this way and it just feels like it is too hard to keep going, get busy physically for just a few minutes. After you are out of breath get one of your favorite small things to snack on and then eat it. Then, hold to a good positive thought. Think of what makes you happiest and don't let go of that thought. Try not to go back and rethink what had been bothering you. Always remember that things will work out, don't get discouraged, keep trying, things will work out. :)

You have all made me feel so much better, some very wise  comments and advice. All these things you suggest I know are right and sometimes I just need reminding and to remember that we are all special in the eyes of our Father in Heaven.  I get alot of satisfaction from service and callings but if I make a mistake or do something wrong I tend to recoil back into my shell and hide.  Its wrong I know, after all, as linval says if we were perfect we wouldn't need to be here. Although I hate to think of others feeling like me I feel better knowing others struggle too. Now I don't feel so much like a freak!

Thankyou all

I know how you feel. I have been away from the church so long. I don't feel worthy anymore. But I know it is the adersery making me have those feelings. I know who I am. And no one can take that from me. Or you either. Stand up for who you are and don't be afraid. Were all human. Sometimes we open our mouth and something may come out that isn't totaly cool. But if we were perfect we wouldn't be here.

I've moved a few times and each time I've felt, "out of place" for a year or two.  It seems about the time I feel close to someone, I move again! 

I'm not good at conversations and even here I say something to be "funny", or to make a joke and it comes out wrong or it can be taken wrong and then I feel stupid.

The one thing that has helped me with all of this is service.  I try to find a way to help someone, if I hear someone needs something I quietly try to see it gets done.  I don't wait for the thank you or anything, just do it and go.  I feel better and I always feel more a "part" of things.

Don't know if that helps, but I wanted you to know you're not alone with your feelings.

Hi Mirium!  I'm sorry that you're feeling upset tonight.  I feel like I understand what you're going through.  It took me several years to feel comfortable with myself as I am so very shy.  Most of the time, the thought of being in a place where I might have to involve myself in conversation makes me sooooo nervous and anxious, I literally can't think of anything to say -- my mind goes completely blank.  And this is especially true when I have to interact with my family -- aunts, uncles, cousins...

I agree with what the others have said to you. While I don't think that I can offer any words of wisdom better than the great advice you've gotten from goodfeeling_, astral, and mumof5, I'd like to share with you what I've learned for myself. 

I try not to think about the possibility of coversations:  I used to walk with my head down avoiding eye contact, but now I walk with my head up, and a hint of a smile on my lips.  This not only relaxes my face, it relaxes me altogether and invites others to smile back. 

I listen to uplifting music:  Music has always been so important to me.  It's gotten me through the tough times.  And just recently, when I thought not even music could help, I started listening to a contemporary Christian music station.  Every song was about God's love, about loving Him, or seeking His love and guidance.  I found that listening to this station instead of secular music (most of which sang of love for someone else or a lost love or parties, things I thought I was missing) helped me forget about the "disappointments" and directed my thoughts to Heavenly Father and his enormous love for me.  I began to believe I AM special in my individuality.  I began to believe and feel how amazing it is to be loved unconditionally.  The artists songs were their testimonies to me, and I began to believe that I was not alone in my fears, doubt, or search for happiness.

This radio station was my "church" for a while and it brought me back to the true church.  I say that because I felt I had recovered my sense of spirituality and closeness to My Heavenly Father.  My family had begun to listen to it almost as soon as I did.  So our home became a calmer place.  Soon the missionaries were at our door, when no one else had come in years.  I know Heavenly Father knew we were ready again to return to Him and we began to attend church so our youngest could be baptized.

As far as being a "loner" or not fitting in... I've also learned that while I've often felt that I'm on the outside looking in, others are without a doubt feeling like they're on the outside looking in...on you!  Regardless of how you feel about yourself, I can guarantee that someone is looking at you and admiring so many things about you just as you might be admiring things about them.  Learn to love yourself and your attributes, your special qualities that others may not have. 

I, for one, admire your strong testimony and your love for the church.  I admire your courage to express your feelings, because I know that can be so difficult.  I admire your strength because I can see that even thought you may feel awkward, you don't let that interfere with you faith.

hi!  My husband and I (and our 4 children) have moved to new ward.  Weve been in this ward for over 7 months now, and we're still getting to know the members.  We both have callings.  Im a shy person, and although I really like socialing with others, I get nervous and worry that I might say something wrong, I just dont know whether Id be able to strike up a conversation with anyone.  Well, Im still learning to try and come out of my comfort zone, and initiate conversations for others.  Even if its just a 'hello, how are you?'. 

I hope this is of any help to you. Pray for help and guidance. and dont feel you dont fit in.  I like this website for this very purpose of chatting with others and helping each other out.

Hello. I feel the same way you do when it comes to relating to members in my ward and also on the internet. The down side, for me is that it weakens my testimony and sometimes don't feel like going to church. I'm so happy you have a strong testimony and love for the church.  Maybe a church calling might help you get to feel like you are a member of the ward. It will help you interact and get to know fellow members. My bishop is fully aware of my concerns of my feelings of not fitting in. He has offered to help in any way he and the ward can do to make things more comfortable. You may want to speak with your bishop. You said you have friends at church. That is a great thing. Doing things with your friends  in and also outside of the church setting may also be benefical. That is something I need to work on myself. I like the words of encouragement that Goodfeeling_ said in your response to your blog. Members on here and in the church do really care for each other. Be patient and in time you will feel more comfortable. Keep praying and hold on to the iron rod!

Hi there.  Sorry that you feel like that.  I feel bad that you feel bad.  First off, you can be a good member and a loner at the same time.  If you are just naturally quiet, and shy.....which is better to say, then to call yourself a loner....  than thats okay.  Its you.   Secondly, alot of the stuff your talking about, I think many of us have felt.  It all takes time.  Being at church, around others, it takes time to kind of fit in...get into the groove.  Maybe even after some time, you still dont quite fit in.  If that is the case...guess what............Its okay.  When you chat online, if your feeling kind of shy......guess what..............Its okay.   And we all say things that can be taken wrongly or whatever.  Thats life. 

So, if it holds you back right now.......guess what.........its okay.  You go at your own pace, go how you are comfortable, and dont worry about measuring yourself to others.  Guess why........  because its all okay.