It was nine years ago today from that horrible night that got me taken away from my family. It was my forever ticket to freedom and my feeling of abandonment.

     My best friend in the world got her first car and she wanted to take me out in it. We asked my step father if it was okay and he said yes and off we went. We went to the Cracker Barrel and had dinner and looked around the country store and she bought me a note pad with my last inital on it. After that we went to her house to ask her mom if we could go see a movie and it was decided that the whole family was going to go so we went to the 9 0 clock showing  it was around 11 when we returned and Amanda went in with me to so we could ask if I could spend the night.

     My step father was locked up in his bedroom and my two brother Jesse (10) and David (3) were running around and still awake. Jesse handed me a peice of paper and it had a list of stuff that i had to get done before my mother got home. she would be home any minute from work at the outback. Amanda asked " so do you think you can spend the night?" I replied, " I don't think so I have to get all this stuff done. I am probably going to be up all night. Jesse can you help me do some of this stuff?" Jesse being the little brother he is of course said no. I pleaded with him for a little while and he still stubbornly refused to help.

     My step father then came storming out of his bedroom still in street clothes and looking ferious. " I am sick and tired of you complaining and not doing you chores!!" He grabbed me by the throat and started pushing me toward the kitchen. " You are going to get in that kitchen and get to work without any complaints!!" He then pushed me into the kitchen sink. I fell into the cabinets bumping my head on one of the handles. He then turn to Amanda " I want you out of my house!!" Amanda scared to death ran out of the house crying. My step father then went back to his room and locked the door.

     I was so scared I couldn't stay in the house. I ran outside and Amanda's parents were approaching the door to find out what was going on. Amanda's mom Dona embraced me to get me to calm down. She told me that she heard to whole thing outside in their car. She demanded to speak with my step father and convince him to let me spend the night. The whole conversation between Dona and my step father is fuzzy actually I don't remeber any of it. Amanda helped me do the dishes while they were talking and I went to my room to get some clothes and tidy up a little bit. My step father agreed that I could go.

     While at Amanda's I spoke to the department of children services(DCS) on the phone and they asked me a bunch of questions. We went to church the next day and Dona spoke to the elders( church of christ church leaders wasn't lds back then) and they agreed to help me. DCS came monday and interviewed my mom and me again and left. Mom freaked out and told my step dad what was going on and I was grounded. I wasn't allowed to have any contact from anyone at church. I couldn't go to church and if someone picked me up to go they were going to report me as kidnapped and if i walked they were going to report me as a run away and send me to juevy. Several people tried to get a cell phone to me because we didn't have a phone but too no avail.

     Tuesday my grandmother came to check on me and talk to mom. She saw how scared I was and tried to get me to come with her but mom wouldn't let me because I was grounded and couldn't leave the house. She left and a few hours passed and she came back and demanded that I get some cloths and get in the truck. I quickly grabbed some clothes made it to the living room but Mom blocked me from getting out. I crawled underneath her and made it out the door Mom came running after me Grandma not far behind her I made it to the truck and locked the door and Grandma and Mom started dukeing it out in the front yard. Mom gave up and said she was going to call the cops and we went to Grandma's house.

     Mom never called the police and that day she brought over all my things in garbage bags. We went to court a month after and Mom gave me up and my grandmother had custody of me. she just gave me up like that no fight or anything it was like she didn't even care. I am sure though that there was a good reason for it. Maybe she did just give in because she loved me. A year later mom ran away and I didn't hear from her in 4 years. she divorced my step father but she left my brothers with him. I wonder to this day what my brother are like now. Now that both of their mothers are gone.(me and Mom) I don't know how they are right now but i do know that there will be a day that we will be together again.

Tags: Overcoming Abuse

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