During some years of my life I seen the following through my minds eyes or in my dreams:

When I was about 5 I had a bad dream: I was dead and they...all my family...carried me in the coffin. The coffin was open and I looked around me laying here.Then I sat up. One of my family kindly pressed me back in the coffin on my back and said with a finger on her mouth " Ssss you are dead, sleep now..."
I did not want to be dead. I got up sitting and shouted "No I am NOT dead" A few more hands wanted to put me back on my back... I teared myself from their grip and jumped on the road and started running...the whole funeralparty running behind me shouting " Come back you are dead... come back..." And I was looking at them sometimes from over my shoulder shouting back " No I am NOT dead!"
I stil remember the horror as I woke up, crying....
I get dreams, this is only one of them and I wondered a long time what this ment ... now I think I know

When I see a special kind of dream, I usually know something will happen... for some time a go I asked not to get the dreams any more, too much pain... but now I see I need the dreams to warn me... I asked them to come back.... maybe they will.
I am the only member of my family (except half of my own family now) in LDS Church. My both grandfathers were lutheran priests. Mothers farther was the professor of Old Testament and all preasts had to take the final exam with him. My family is pretty religious, all lutheran. My cousin is a preast. My dad had been a preast if he had not been bepolar.
As I wisited my mother once she said she was sorry that she never could discuss the religion with me and explainit to me better so I had not become an LDS... I told her it had not helped...I just wish she could understand, but she cant, she dont want to, as she thinks she would decieve her dad if she would change her religion, she dont even dare to think about it. My family is very highly learned and none of them is interested, they think I am a black sheep.
Well it says in my patriacal that I will do the work for them and will be a great teacher one day.... and that there are many good and fine spirits waiting for my work.

The stone gate

When I was newly babtised I saw a stone gate in my minds eyes. It was build with the roman style, with a bow and it reminds of the door/gate in many of the Jesus pictures. I was sitting on a stone bench in beautiful meadow. Sun was shining. The grass around was knee high and all colours of beautiful nature flowers were blooming around me. There were others too, girls and boys happily running and picking flowers. I was picking some of them, as a man sat on a stone bench clothed like people in Jesus time. He was smiling to me, I knwe Him, He was my brother, my saviour. I rested my head on his arm.

I looked thowards the gate and saw a mist of fog and a reeling which dessapeared in the mist leading to the gate. Occasionally I saw people coming thowards the gate holding to the reeling. Some where holding to it with both hands pulling themselves thowards the gate, others were just making sure it was there close by, not holding to it all the time. There were groups of people some of them followed the reeling to the gate and stepped trough. Others waved good bye and let go of the reeling and dessapeared in to the fog. Some seemed to have intense discusitions of which way to go and others tried to call to the ones stepping in to get back in to the mist.

I smiled to these who entered through the gate. Their faces were just beaming, as they got into the sunshine. They were soo happy to meet the people in the garden, who were waiting for them. Some turned back byt the gate and waved to some people stil on their way so they would hurry up.       

Then I saw my ex husband. He like many others had done before him came to the reeling looked at it confused and looked thowards the opening. I moved to the opening and I caught his eyes. He looked at me and I called for him. He looked at the reeling, but then it was as if he had not seen me or heard me, he just turned his back on it and went in to the mist.

Big teardrops were running down my face. Suddenly I felt a very comforting hand on my shoulder. He was there beside me. He was looking out and I could see the sadness in his eyes. We stod there for a while, then His loving voice told me it was time to go. I followed Him back to the garden. I felt very sad. There were some other kids playing on the meadow, He gathered them all around him and they all went on... He turned at me with a question in His eyes. I told him I`ll come abit later, I wanted to stay for a while. I stayed a long time there by the bench looking in to the mist... seeing people pass and be greeted .... waiting, hoping while everyone else went further in. Finally I too walked further in....

Tags: Dreams Faith Walue God Jesus

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