This is something I saw with my minds eye when the troubles hit my life hard.

I was climbing a mountain. It was hard but I climbed pretty fast. I was all consentrated in climbing. then I noticed I was almost at the top. I could see the blue sky and a few white clousds slowly moving across the sky. Weather was nice and warm. I was pretty tired after the climb and eagerly waited to get over the topp so I could rest.

I got my hand over the edge and the other one. I was hanging on my hands now and pulled myself up to see the beautiful plato on the topp. I sowa a glimpse, but mostly I saw black boots. Then I realised there was a shadow over me, I looked up to see who that was. He was clothed in black.

His smile was evil as he slowly lifted his foot and placed it on my fingers. I glanced quickly at him and my hand. I tought it cant be real. With a evil smile he stepped on my hand. Finally I got my hand from under his foot,, now I was hanging with only one hand. The pain was intence. I looked at him pleading. His answer was a cruel smile and he stepped on my other hand crushing it with a circle movement of his foot.

Pain vas too much I had top let go. The montain was not 90% up, but with a very slight slide. I tried to dig my hands and feet on the mountain as I sled down the slope. With my hands and knees bleeding I finally managed to stop the downwarth fall and clang to the mountain. Pain was horrible, it was not only my hands but my feet and my knees too. I reated for a while then looked around. The man in black was no wher to be seen.

I saw a small cliff a bit to the left where I might climb to and try to recover. It tok me a long time to finally be close to the cliff. I got my hand up to my elbow ove and reached to get the otjher hand over. I almost fainted for the pain. Many of my nails were gone. I had deep cuts all over my hands and knees. Then I more senced than saw the dark figure over me. He just pusehed me over with his foot. I just slid and rolled down and then stopped somewhere a long ways down. I was all muddy and too tired to move. I think I slept a long time.

Then after some time I started to climb again. My hands were sore but I did pretty good. Again I saw on my left a nice cliff I could climb up to, to rest. I climbed up slow. I got my hands on the edge. I was too tired to look up. All I heard was a horrible laughter as I felt my fingers to be crushed again.

I slid down, the slope was muddy and I did not get a grip on it. Then to my suprise I slid down into the water. Water felt good on my sore limbs even though it did smart to begin with. I turned around and rested and floated on the water. I swam slowly to a place where I tought I might get out of the water and more like rolled out of the water. I stayed a long time by the water, a few days I think.

So finally I felt I had enough strength to climd again and I started up the slope again. Had to go a bit more to the right to not ot get in the mudslide again. I climbed slowly upwarth. Then I think I was about half a way and tought I needed to rest and saw a cliff I could rest on. I climbed thowards it.... got my hand on the edge and the other hand too. Lifted my eyes and met a pair of dark evil eyes and felt the pain hit me like a knife.

This time my hands were not able to hold my weight at all and I fell instantly with the evil laughter in my ears ... there was no mountain to hold on to this time, I just fell down, down, down... Then suddenly I felt a big splash as I hit the water. This time I was too tired to even turn around. I felt my body sink deeper and deeper. I could see faces around me calling me, locking me to sink to the bottom... I could not care less.

I was totally exhausted. I felt I could not move a limb. The darkness of the bottom was totally swallowing me. then for some reason I did not sink anymore. In fact I felt as if someone had lifted me up thowards the surface. I came to the surface. Stil facing down I floated there, not really caring what would happen to me. I was taken over by some unknown force, that kept me on the surface and would not let me sink. Finally I turned on my back and floated a long time looking at the clowds and blue skyes. I could not understand why I still was there against all odds, but I was there.

Finally after a very long time I dregged myself on the shore. I sat a long time by the water. I helped others off the water. Then I went to where I had seen may start to climb the mountain. I remined there helping them up the first few meters of the mountain, giving them advice. I promiced to myself I would never try to climb up again.

Years have passed, I have not got much higher and I am stil helping others up and denying to climb myself, but I have a feeling, as if some Danites or something, do sometimes carry me a bit up, even though I fight back and scold them for carrying an old woman and not leaving her alone.  I more sence, than see, the youthful strength they have and the warm smiles and the happy voices. But I stil dont dare to climb. Carry me if you have to but I dont climb!

Tags: Faith Sorrow Life Lost Trials Pain Sinn

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