so...this is going to seem ridiculous and insignificant to anyone who reads it...but its kinda  big deal to me! I got an email from a professor i took a class with 2 months ago at 10pm saying that if I didn't come in and take one of my makeup tests at 9 this morning he'd fail me. Mind you I was in the hospital for the last month of the class and missed 2 exams AND all the lectures and have been trying to get in contact with him for 2 months to arrange to finish the course...ANYHOW...I was freaking out because lets face it, microbiology is freaking hard and if I don't finish this class within the next couple weeks I get kicked out of nursing school...well..i spent all night cramming 3 weeks of material into my not-so-good-at-remembering-my-name brain and still felt like I was completely unprepared for the exam this morning. I hate to admit it, but I was REALLY tempted to cheat...i mean i would be sitting in my professors office alone and could very easily just pull out all the notes...OR I could just call my friend who was in the class and get all the answers to the test...and i was kinda planning on doing either of those things because this test is REALLY important. But then i started thinking about where i am right now spiritually (bad place) and how much I want to change that...and figured that even though i could just repent for it, i needed to take the opportunity to show the Lord that my standing with Him is more important than my career. So I prayed about it and told the Lord that i really wanted to just get the test taken care of through less than integral means but that i wasn't going to. I didn't really even ask Him to help me on the test because I don't really feel worthy right now of petty things like that...BUT when I sat down to take the test I knew EVERY answer...it was 12 pages long of fill in the blank and short answer and I knew every term and definition and process..even ones i didn't remember even reading about last night. I am pretty sure that I made at least a 97 on the exam. Here is the thing...choosing to be honest instead of cheating should be a given thing, its something the Lord commands and I ought to not even struggle with breaking that command...but I really did...and the Lord really and truly isn't required to help me just because I chose not to do the bad thing and yet He COMPLETELY did...how much love and mercy does that show! He is amazing...He poured out the blessings when all I did is follow a commandment and principle that should be completely basic to my character...I'm really not at all worthy for His help because of everything i've done over the past year, and yet even in the eternally insignificant aspects of my life He is completley there for me...I wonder how much more support He must be giving me in overcoming sin and returning to Him that I don't even realize...if He is willing to give me help on a dumb micro test then He must be doing so much more in my real struggles...I can't feel the spirit but He is still finding ways to let me know that He loves me...I love that.  hehe...ok im done rambling..thanks for reading.

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