[Iggy]

Sundowning is a phase of the Alzheimer's. Mom went through that. Keeping them on a good nutritional diet, exercise and mental activity helps a lot. Plus getting them out in the sunshine, or in the fall and winter using real light light bulbs.

They get restless as the day light fades. They will nervously pick at things, stand up, sit down. Go over to look at a book, then wonder what the heck they are doing at the book case. Mom would look out the windows all the time. She was very careless about grabbing the curtains and jerking them aside. Before Alzheimer's she was a very courteous woman, she never would have been rough with anything.

When they sundown, they don't sleep during the night. They are confused, restless, disturbed by the darkness.

So eating a good balance diet, physically exercising, having mental stimulation and getting a good dose of sunlight and preventing them from napping during the day. Or at least to limit their daily naps to one or two and for not more than an hour each. Will help tremendously with the sundowning. It makes them tired enough to sleep during the night.

The mental stimulation can be as simple as a box of crayons and a coloring book. I wouldn't use an extremely simple coloring book- I would get one that is a bit more complex yet not quite adult either. A box of 16 crayons is good- anymore than that and it gets confusing for them.

Mom absolutely loved to garden. In the spring we gave her a flat of flowers to plant. She planted them, then un-planted them, then planted them again. Only about 5 lived. It was the cheapest therapy by far! She was outside, getting physical exercise and mental stimulation. She was happy- talking to all of her friends (past friends that were real to her now), and when she came in for lunch and dinner- she felt she had been accomplishing something useful with her time.

She loved to iron clothes too- but that was a bit too dangerous to let her do. She would forget the iron was hot and leave it sit on the clothes.

She would fold clothes for hours. Fold the towels, hand towels, wash cloths, sheets and pillow cases. Put them into the linen closet. She would then go sit down for about 5 minutes. Then get the basket and dump them all back in again. She would ask my Sis-In-Law to please wash these dirty towels. Sis would take them downstairs to the laundry room. Toss them in the dryer just long enough to get them warm, then bring them back to Mom. Mom would then spend another couple of hours folding them and putting them back in the closet.

During our last visit with Mom at Thanksgiving, we had wonderful conversations with Mom. She contributed intelligent and pertinent conversation. She also asked: Do I know you? You certainly know me, and I must apologize, but I just can not remember who you are. Husband would say, I am Son #1, and she would smile and say- yes you are First Middle Last Name, my first born. Then she would look at me and say- He is such a good and loving man. You had better hurry up and marry him before he gets tired of waiting for you.

We seldom corrected her- I would put my arm through Husbands arm and tell her that I had just accepted his proposal, and that I loved him very much. Or we would tell her that we just got sealed in the Temple. She would say, Oh yes the Mesa Temple. I was endowed there. That is a good Temple to be sealed in.

She didn't know that the people she was living with was her son#2 and his wife. She believed the house to be her home, and it's contents hers. She told them all the time that she was grateful for the care they were giving her. She thanked them for taking such great care of her home. Then she would look at me and in a stage whisper she would say: I really don't know what the husband does around here- I never see him do any work- but he makes her happy so I keep him on.

I liked to bust up laughing. She was spot on about him. He went to work during the day, and what ever work he did around the house, she never saw it. He would hide out in his basement "office" before and after meals.

Sometimes if you didn't know she had Alzheimer's- you would think she was getting her digs in at them. They talked about her right in her presence. As though she were stone deaf, blind and a blithering idiot!

Sis-in-law, was forever saying Mom was demented. Demented this, and demented that. After two days of this, I grabbed Sis by the arms and goose stepped her out the back door in the yard, then I jerked her around and holding her chin in a death grip, I put my face just mere inches from hers, and told her that if she said demented just one more time I would gorilla glue her flipping mouth shut- but not until after I stapled her tongue to her upper lip. She muttered something about me and whose army. I said me and only me. I didn't need an army to teach a boor good manners. Then I removed my hand from her face, walked into the house and closed the door on her.

Husband and Bro-in-law saw and heard the whole thing. Bro said he would make sure she never said it again.

Mom had Alzheimer's, but she was far from stupid or unfeeling.