I think this goes along with another thread that talks about respect and honoring ones home. I smoked and drank during the 20 yrs that I was away from the church but I had enough respect for my parents home that I didn't do either when I was there. If I had to have a smoke I'd take a walk or drive, go see some friends, whatever. I never even thought to bring alcohol to their house (after I grew up and realized I didn't know everything lol ).
I think that your family should respect your wishes at your house. Family gatherings at parks, pools, etc. are fair game but I would think that they would know enough about respect to keep it out of the hands of children. (tho there are always one or two uncles that think its funny when a kid get a hold of an almost empty bottle.)
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