Quote:
Originally Posted by Vanilla
Maybe you should have thought about your children BEFORE you kissed another woman! I don't mean to come off so harsh, but you were aware of how your wife felt before you did it, so why are you trying to use the kids as an excuse to not tell her now.
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With respect, the part I bolded above is not in the least bit constructive. Of course he should have thought more before it happened but it's done now and pointing that out comes across as just an excuse for being rigid now in the response. (Not saying that's how you mean it, only that it comes across that way.) It's just another way of saying "Well you deserve whatever you get" which I vehemently disagree with.
Let's be honest here... A kiss isn't, in the grand scheme of things, anything like the worst case scenario. Frankly I'm more concerned with the idea that the wife would leave him over something like this. Kissing? Someone is honestly ready to end a marriage with kids over a few kisses? I'm sorry but that just doesn't strike me as at all reasonable.
Of course the wife has every right to feel hurt, betrayed, angry and everything in between, but people have done far worse than a few kisses and been able to repair the marriage. To be completely honest, I think the wife needs an adjustment on perspective before she's told anything.
If guilt is eating you up over it then yes, you should get it off your chest but it seems like some careful handling of this is in order. I think like PC said, maybe in an environment where it can be brought out in the open in a structured, constructive manner is the best place.
And yeah, ask the Bishop about it. If he tells you to tell her well then go the counseling route and prepare her first. I see no reason for the Bishop to object to that, especially when she's already given you that ultimatum. (Which hopefully she doesn't really mean.)