I commend you for stopping before making any worse mistakes with the OW. That takes a strong man to see where things are leading to, and ending it right away. Many people who cheat on their spouse say they didn't think things would go so far. It is a road that starts with thoughts, flirting, and goes on from there. Most people just don't look where they are going.
No matter how far the infidelity went, or how long ago, the wife does have a right to know. Talk to the bishop first to contiue the repentance process (confessing, and making restitution). Just stopping the sin isn't enought to repent. The bishop can also give you guidance on how to approach this problem. Pray to find the most gentle way to break it to her, and make sure you are sincere and show her your regret. If you have already talked to the bishop before, it will show you really feel sorry. Discuss with her a way to rebuild the trust you have lost (it is in your court now). Show her that you will hide nothing from her, because you have nothing else to hide.
The fact that you and your wife were having problems, and you turned outside the marriage, is a huge problem in itself. She probably didn't know how badly you felt. How can she work things out if she doesn't even know how serious the problems are? I think you underestmate your wife. Most women suspect something is going on by their husbands actions, but can't prove it.
Every woman I have ever met, including myself has said we would leave our husbands if they cheated on us. But it is different, when it actually happens to you, especially if you have kids. Take it from someone who has stayed through infidelity twice. However, 3 strikes and you're out in my book!
|