Hey VOL, a mission is a wonderful experience and something worth doing ( I don't regret serving), but I understand it may not be for everyone and if you truly feel that it isn't for you, then I know you have your reasons and if you've taken it to the Lord, that should be good enough for anyone. Sometimes well intentioned folks can talk "too much" and make you feel uncomfortable, to the point where you are feeling judged. If you wanted to give 'em a little taste of their own medicine after you've politely told them you aren't going to serve, you could ask them how many temple sessions they've attended this year or if they're faithful hometeachers. Maybe they're full tithe payers, too? 
Best wishes, bud. I know you are a valiant young man and I admire you for your faith and what you deal with every day. Keep your chin up.
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"No unhallowed hand can stop the work from progressing; persecutions may rage, mobs may combine, armies may assemble, calumny may defame, but the truth of God will go forth boldly, nobly, and independent, till it has penetrated every continent, visited every clime, swept every country, and sounded in every ear, till the purposes of God shall be accomplished, and the Great Jehovah shall say the work is done" (History of the Church, 4:540).
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