I would suggest you (re?)read Alma's discourse on faith. Have you ever really read the Book of Mormon? Faith really is like that seed. It doesn't grow if you don't feed it, cultivate it, water it.... The care and feeding of a testimony is really cultivating a relationship - with your Heavenly Father and your Savior. That takes some time and discipline and commitment - and the good old "Sunday School answers" of regular prayer, searching the scriptures, trying to live as the Savior did, loving others as He did.... but I can testify that the rewards of that investment are priceless and eternal. If the plant doesn't grow, it doesn't mean that the seed was not good. All I can tell you is I have tried his experiment, for 38 years - it's not always easy, often humbling, at times painful - but I wouldn't trade it for anything else, social or whatever, that the world can offer.
Sure, you can continue to hang out at the banquet as long as you like and enjoy the smells coming from the kitchen, as it were - that doesn't make you a hypocrite. But how sad if you don't really get to sit down and feast!! I hope and pray that you can find a way to enjoy all the blessings within the gospel that the Lord wants you to have and that He paid such a terrible and beautiful price to offer to you.
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