-Energizer Bunny arrested - charged with battery.
-A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.
-Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
-A Freudian slip: When you say one thing but mean your mother.
-Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.
-I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
-Marriage: The mourning after the knot before.
-Hangover: The wrath of grapes.
-Corduroy pillows are making headlines.
-Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?
-Sea captains don't like crew cuts.
-Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
-A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
-A gossip: Someone with a great sense of rumor.
-Without geometry, life is pointless.
-Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
-In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism, your count votes.
-A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
-With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
-Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat minor.
-When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
-The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
-A grenade thrown into a French kitchen would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
-You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
-Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
-He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
-Every calendar's days are numbered.
-A lot of money is tainted. It t'aint yours and it t'aint mine.
-A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
-He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
-The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
-Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
-Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
-When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
-Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
-Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
-Acupuncture is a jab well done.
-Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeet.
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