[countrygirl66]

Originally Posted by candyprpl

Is it wrong for me to question my husband's worthiness to hold the priesthood? I'm hurting so much right now over my own thoughts. I don't ask him for blessings when I need them because I don't believe in his worthiness. How terrible is that!!!!!

He's always complaining about other people and their worthiness and it drives me crazy! The minute we get out of Church on Sundays he starts up with how, 'so and so did this or that', or so and so said...' If I try to say anything it just starts a fight -- so I remain quiet and fume while he rants. He's a truck driver and I hate it when he calls other drivers names like, jerk, idiot and a lot of times the B word.

The other night I couldn't hold my temper. We were watching the news and the subject of gay marriage, etc. came up and he said, "We should just get rid of those F (derogatory term for gay)." Now I know that he hasn't been a member for a long time and I try to give him some room when it comes to understanding the gospel, but.....he has been a member long enough and is in the Elder Quorum presidency as Second Counselor and should know by now that statements like that are appalling to say the least. I'm afraid I let him have it. "I said that they are our brothers and sisters and we should love them the same way we love each other." He replied, "They can't be members. They would be excomunicated if they were." I said, "They most certainly can and are members." He looked at me and said, "I hope not." I was shocked, I just look at him. I couldn't say anything more. He has shown bigotry in other forms as well.

It saddens me that he doesn't seem to grasp our Savior's teachings. I haven't been a member very long either but some things are very clear to me.

He gets very defensive when I bring up these concerns and we end up in a fight. Daily, almost hourly, I pray that his heart will be softened and that my words will not come out offensive.

What else can I do? How can I overcome my feelings/thoughts that he is unworthy? When I hear a sister say they are grateful for the priesthood in their home -- I get very sad because of my thoughts. I don't feel like I have the priesthood in my home.

I feel sad that you are struggling so much. My h and I have had our ups and downs. Here are a few things that helped me. During difficult times I have prayed to see my h the way heavenly father sees him. This also helps me to look at myself differently. Instead of seeing just his faults or stumblings I am able to see the areas where he really excells. (supporting us financially, being faithful and loyal to me, trying to stay on the path) Also (for me) fighting over prejudice or cuss words or driving (communications?) never solves anything or changes anything. Instead if I find a quiet moment to present my feelings in a way that he doesn't feel attacked it helps. I get really defensive if I feel attacked myself. ex - I shared an experience of my grandmother being treated poorly because she was a (white trash indian). I told him how sad I felt about it. Talked about the blessings promised her in the scriptures and asked him if he thought heavenly father would still bless her even though she was never into organized religion. It gave us a chance to talk about prejiduce. We still have many different opinions on things, (even sometimes the gospel practices). But I have seen him and me grow and progress over 23 years of marriage. I have realized that sometimes being worthy means that you are trying and learning. I think Heavenly Father knows us perfectly and what is in our hearts. I also find it helps to remind myself of the things I love about him and remember why I fell in love with him. Is he worthy? IDK It is something that is between him and the lord. (In my case my h has a fobia about giving blessings, so I get them few and far between). Does that make him a bad priesthood holder? no It means he is learning, just like me. Good luck I hope you find some peace.