Quote:
Originally Posted by Wingnut
While this may be true, the opposite could also be true. The more you speak your mind, the more it grates on him, and the farther away he goes, instead of coming back to the middle.
Seek the guidance of the Spirit in discussing with him your feeling and concerns about his attitudes and language.
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Absolutely correct.
The relationship described seems rather confrontational. It seems he may be overprovocative for whatever reason (highly histeronic perhaps) but so is the wife -- seems ready to pounce once something is said that she disagrees with.
Problem is, when the yelling begins (or the temptation to yell) the higher order areas of the brain shut down -- reasoning basically stops. You are in a neaurological fight or flight mode so the endorphine system is pumping adrenaline as well as seratonin and a bunch of other chemicals that put the body on alert. At this point the couple may as well be a couple of chimps fighting over a monkey both want to eat as far as true communication is concerned.
Both husband and wife need to seek God as well as seek better ways to communicate. Can a person be a good member of the Church and cheer when he or she reads about God nuking Sodom? Sure. Would hauling him in front of a bishop help? Might, or they both might wind up sharing their favorite gay jokes. There is no worthiness question dealing with his negative attitude towrds homosexuals unless is translates out to him intentionally hurting people -- come to think of it, it's like the issue of homosexual feelings (if not acted upon or lusted upon thre is no punishment for the person having them. However, maybe if you want him or her to think about his position ask how they would feel if a son or daughter became gay or would he help a stranded driver if he found out it was a lesbian. Get a conversation going.
At the same time my experience has been that the Relief Society is more apt to rip on members of the ward and spread gossip. I even knew one wife whose husband was in the bishopric who at least once listened through the wall as her husband was meeting with a man in her ward and then called the wife up and let her know what they were talking about. So it's not unusual for people to commit major sins like gossip but maybe ask the husband something that will allow him to find good qualities about the people he's jumping on. Don't just wait to jump his case.
One last thing, the sad part of such bickering is that due to the hormonal infusions into the body some people can eventually get addicted to fighting as much as getting addicted to caffeine. Be careful -- and that goes for any husband or wife out there.