Quote:
Originally Posted by DeborahC
You cannot change other people.
But you CAN change your feelings and reactions to them.
Just consider that it could be your Ego that is the problem. You are embarrassed that he thinks and talks this way because you feel it is a reflection on you.
But it is not.
He has his own free will and is responsible for his own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
You are only responsible for yours.
So you have three choices.
You can change the situation - but you obviously cannot change him.
You can walk away - which would mean divorcing him, and I don't think you want that.
You can change yourself, and accept him - and pray for him - and pray for your own strength to accept and love him.
Do you doubt that God can work miracles?
Many Bishops came from such a place as your husband sits, I've read.
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I had to say that this response goes along with my experience.
When I first got married, my husband was a smoker. And had a few other, shall we say, rough edges. I was fine with that. Then once we started getting active in the church, both of us but mind you on my prompting, I started feeling the way you have explained - that he was withholding blessings from our family by not living the word of wisdom.
Now that time has passed, I see how proud and judgemental I was - because my particular sins have proven much more deadly and destructive to our family than his ever did.
My plan for myself, as much as possible, is to do my best to love and forgive those around me (someone else said something to that effect - how does God see him?) and work on my own beams and motes.
My $0.02. I wish you the best.