As a woman I will tell you this...
You are asking because you feel deep down that you should tell her, but fear keeps you from it. If we lived in fear daily..what would life really be ?
I agree with getting some marriage counseling, start working on the cause of the problem...like what got the two of you to this point in your life. You also will have to realize that although problems in your marriage made you feel as if you needed to find happiness else where, your choice was that your choice...it was not caused because of the problems with in the relationship...rather a problem within yourself, your lack of communication and committment to work on the issues of your marriage. Once you work on these issues within yourself, and work on the stresses that brought you to this point, your wife will be more apt to listen. I do suggest nightly and daily couples prayer, this will highly help through this period while your doing the couples couseling. I will keep you in my prayers...remember have faith in your wife and her love for you.
just my 2 cents
