The most important thing is that you stop the behavior.
I know you said you have... this time. But, once you engange in a behavior it's much easier to repeat. This is partly why we tell someone, so we have a check. Someone who cares about us who will always be there to keep us on track.
Often, people say things before they have to deal with them. When they actually have to deal with them, they surprise even themselves with their behavior and what they can deal with.
I think the counsel to tell her is wise. But, often there are more than one way to address a situation. Seeking help first is also wise. This is where your Bishop, or even your Stake President may help you. These are men that can help you check the behavior; someone who YOU KNOW that will ask you from time to time if you are heading down this path again. That alone will help you avoid it in the furture. As long as you believe the behavior is secret, the chance of repeating it is higher.
Study it out in your mind, using all the advice you have been given, and arrive at what YOU think is the best course of action. Take it to your Heavenly Father in prayer and you will know if He approves.
One thing I do know, though, is that you will never be forgiven until you tell her. Confession is one of the steps to repentance. When you pray, be willing to accept whatever He tells you to do, knowing He can work things out for you no matter what action you choose to take.
(We often reply, also, for others who may be going through the same things and looking for advice)
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