You need closure on this one way or another. Is there more going on than what you write? You slipped, you stopped, you repented, you changed jobs, you've been sin-free since. I'm a bit puzzled that your wife would divorce you over something that is now history. Was she betrayed before by someone else? Did you ever give her reason to think you might stray during dating or otherwise? She seems unusually emtionally charged about anything remotely threatening your marriage. Is she jealous of other things?
If you sincerely believe it's either--
a) tell her and the marriage is over or
b) keep it to myself to keep the marriage
what kind of marriage do you have? Even if you don't tell her, are there issues in the marriage you want to improve?
When I have hard decisions to make, I follow the counsel of my first bishop: study the issue out in my mind, gathering all available relevant information. Make my best decision. Submit it to the Lord and listen for His answer. Do I get the Holy Ghost touching me telling me it's true, a negative response, a stupor of thought (a numbness or no answer), or what?
Let us know what happens, we care.
B
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