Well, I suppose it sounds super-negative, but when one recounts problems, the good items are not spelled out.
He's usually very gentle and sweet. He gets me thoughtful gifts, calls me often, picks me up from work when it rains, that sort of thing. But when I try to talk about negative feelings that have to do with him (not accusing or blaming him, but bringing it up so we can discuss/fix it), he gets upset and defensive, which makes the negative feelings worse. If I was feeling insecure, his reaction confirms it. If I was feeling angry, he infuriates me. If I feel lonely, I feel like I'm being pushed away. Instead of listening to what I have to say, he gets defensive. And I can understand that nobody likes feeling attacked, but I've told him that my point is not to attack him, but that I want him to understand what's wrong, and how we can avoid unhappy situations again in the future. However, the next time, he gets defensive again, which furthers this feeling of him not listening to me...
The reason I'm unsure is because the relationship has been short, and his going away was a real wild card (unexpected for both of us), so I can't discern if it will just always be like this, or if this is just a "rough patch" to stick out till he learns his way to interact and communicate in this sort of relationship.
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