He's showing you how he will problem solve in the future. People do not change with time. They only change when they see a need (benefit to themselves) to change. You cannot change him. The truth about people is the "the older they get the more like themselves they become."
If I was in your situation (as you've described it), I would walk away and start over with someone who understands how to problem solve as a team.
Longer relationships or finance' or marriage do not make problems magically go away. Just the opposite...sometimes it seems that closer relationships, especially marriage, magnifiesproblems. I suggest you find someone who can work with you as a team now or you'll end up with more of the negative reactions down the road.
Actually I'm surprised anyone would defend this behavior as you do in your second post. Its a deal breaker for me.
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