I am not so sure about going to his bishop as a first line of defense. I have a little experience here as the wife of an addict. If someone had gone around me, I can't explain the horror I would have felt. His humiliation is your mothers devastation and I promise you that dealing with this problem is better done in a controlled environment. Tread lightly for the sake of your mother. Anyway....if you go to his bishop how would you really prove it? It could blow up in your face.
The responsibility for telling the truth first and foremost belongs to your father. The next person who has the most influence is your mother. I think that maybe what your father needs is an intervention. I think you might need to get your mother out of her denial before that could happen. You will most certainly need her support if anything would be effective. Porn addicts need to have all the enabling stopped.....just the same as any other kind of addict -- especially ones like your father who have enjoyed years of unchallenged secrecy.
Have you considered obtaining proof and presenting it to your mother? I wouldn't doubt it if your mother knew, but was entrenched in too much denial and fear. Have you considered confronting your father with proof in the presence of your mother? Maybe you could give your mother a little computer education and teach her how to obtain the proof herself. Perhaps you could give her a book or two on the subject so that she has information and time to process it and prepare before the rug is pulled out from under the situation.
And now I just want to talk to you about you. I am sorry your father was involved in this. I know it must have been so traumatic and to know the secret and not be validated is an impossible burden for a child to carry. I am so so sorry!
Remember that you can't change your father. I know you are outraged. You should be. I know you want the lies and abuse to stop. I wouldn't want my father to get away with it either. But this problem is probably so deeply entrenched into the psyche and system of your parents marriage, that I would be cautious and prayerful about how to move forward. You may need to take some action. The spirit may be calling you to. But try to do so in wisdom. Perhaps talk to a PA therapist to get some educated strategies.
Best wishes. May the Savior heal all of you and your father too.
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