[LostSheep]

Okay, prepare to hear pointless rambling.....


I want to serve a mission. But dang it, I need to face that I'm still the same person I was a year ago. I feel like such a hypocrite. I try to help others when I can't help myself. I'm not writing this post to throw a pity party...Or tear myself down. I need to be careful of that. I know that's Satan's #1 tool. Self hate. I wish that "Lostsheep" was merely a name....I hope someday it will be.

Here's my question. What do you do when temptation strikes you so hard, it seems like you have already given in before doing anything? There HAS to be a way to get through those 5 minutes. A reminder isn't enough sometimes. I have 5 pictures of Christ on my wall, and I ALWAYS wear a CTR ring. It's not enough. People say you need to put 100% trust in Christ...But how? How do I do that?

I know that I'm not going to get a magic answer. Also, please realize the main reason I'm writing this thread is to gather all my thoughts and emotions. Thank you everyone who has supported me. I only wish I could at least show you that I care. And I do.

If nothing I wrote makes sense, well....I've been awake for 36 hours now. Give me a break. I'm going to bed now....Good night.