I can't add much to the great advice already given--but I will say that when you mentioned that 'I try to help others when I can't help myself'--is partly untrue--because I think that by trying to help others you are indeed helping yourself--even though it doesn't seem so, because you probably fall back into some of the traps once again--and get discouraged and down on yourself--as many of us do.
Don't ever give up--once you fall off of the horse--stand up and dust yourself off--put your foot back in the stirrup and climb back on that horse--and try to pull the reins in the direction you want to go.
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