Prodigal Son......
I live alone and am single. Spiritually speaking I am really far from where I ought to be. I have felt the spirit once in probably two years, and my testimony is on incredibly shaky ground, i've been questioning even the basics......I think though that the questions are just an excuse to justify what i've been doing, deep down I know the church is true. In my head all the doctrines make sense and I know its right, but I can't at all feel it in my heart anymore. Its like I am dead to the spirit. I haven't ever been through the temple and received my endowments, and i've not been worthy to take the sacrament in 15 months.
I have talked to my bishop, and he is a very sweet and kind man. About a year ago I was put on "informal probation". Last time I talked to him he said that the general rule for what i've done is a disciplinary councel, but he didn't want to do that yet. That was a month ago and I am still in this situation, so I am afraid that if I talk to him again he will feel like that ought to happen. Either way though, I really just want to change, so if it needs to happen, thats ok. I feel like when I talk to him I am wasting his time because i have been trying to change for so long (3 years) and have only done worse things.
So thats where I am.
Just_a_guy...they do go beyond pornography...and I hate it because I am a girl and this isn't supposed to be an issue. I don't really have any close friends that are girls....but I see how that would be helpful. Any guy I have told about the situation eventually ends up using my weakness to his advantage in some way or another.
Thanks to the both of you for your help.
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