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Old 07-03-2009, 03:41 PM
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anatess anatess is offline
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Originally Posted by pam View Post
Okay let me ask this. If we want no gender distinction about "best friends" would you go to a movie with a person of the opposite gender because he/she was your best friend? Without your spouse? If I were married and my best friend was male, I certainly wouldn't do some of the same activities with that friend that I might with a girlfriend.
We have... many times than I can count. We have movie nights every Friday - date night. Well, sometimes my husband can't get off work early enough, and he would call a friend to take me so I won't have to sit home - a lot of times it's our best friend who goes with me - sometimes his wife can't come, so we go ourselves. Sometimes it's the other way around and I have to work and my husband goes with friends - sometimes it's a girl. Sometimes I go with my "cousins"*, all guys. Sometimes, he goes with his friends, all girls. Sometimes we all end up going together and we have to go very early so we can reserve 2 full rows at the theater. Sometimes I chat with friends on the phone all night long... sometimes it's my best friend from high school - a guy, sometimes it's my best friend from college - another guy. Sometimes it's my college friend who is now my husband's best friend - another guy, gay, but still a guy. We literally do not sift through friends according to gender...

Marital problems are for my husband and I to solve. I don't whine about it to my friends to get sympathy vote. I do bounce it off with some of them (the ones who don't gossip) for a sanity check. Cheaper than to go hire a professional shrink.

Anyway, that's why my husband married me - for an ex-runway-model it is refreshing to him to have a wife who is secure enough in our relationship to trust him around other girls. And, I don't have the "I let my husband..." gene. I don't "let my husband" do anything. He does whatever he feels needs to be done. I find it the ultimate expression of his love for me when he chooses for himself to respect me and not betray my trust in him - physically or emotionally.

*By the way, you must be Filipino if... you have more "cousins" than you can count and none of them are related to you...

Hey Pam! I did not forget your pansit! I just haven't had a chance to drop it in the mail!
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