[Heavenguard]

For most of my life, I got along with guys better than girls. I grew up as a tomboy, so... you know. Although my best friend for the last maybe 5, 6, 7 years of my life is a girl, sometimes in certain situations I still find more comfort and solace in some of my male friends when I'm feeling down and out. Of course, when I was still with my boyfriend, I always turned to him first. And now that we're no longer together, I turn to those guy friends. From years of friendship, they know I don't mean anything by it other than needing my friends.

Before I was dating my recent ex-boyfriend, I spent lots of time with my guy friends, with or without other guys, with or without other girls. I didn't expect him to change his relationships with his friends, be they guys or girls, and he didn't expect me to change mine. Now - he always knew that I was with them, and I'd tell him about my day and get him caught up in things, so he knew what we did, what we talked about. Likewise, he told me of those things too. I only see a problem when someone starts to seek out an opposite gender friend in place of their significant other.

But ruthiechan is right. One should not confide in a friend of opposite gender when there is trouble in the significant relationship. Towards the end of my recent relationship, when the guy was both physically and emotionally away, I was looking for comfort from my friends, and I suddenly found one of my male friends very attractive. Granted, we had something of a history, so it's not like it was entirely out of nowhere. But here was a guy who listened to me, and consoled me when my boyfriend wouldn't, and that attraction became very powerful. I decided I had to give everything to the relationship I was in, though, but the guy ended up ending it anyway. And now, that listening and comforting friend is still there to listen to me and comfort me, but just as suddenly as I thought he was attractive, he suddenly isn't anymore, now that the troubled relationship is gone. Even I thought that last bit strange, and still don't understand it, but that's how it happened.