prospectmom and prisonchaplain have both made excellent points. Let me add my experience. My wife and I both joined 14 years ago but we are the only members of either family who are LDS. At first they were indifferent to hostile about our choice. We got every anti mormon story out there from them. For the first 2 to 4 years we were as you are being now. We kept it private and didn't bring the church up around any of them. While we thought this was being responsible and avoiding issues we came to realize we were mistaken.
With our children growing, oldest was 1 when we were baptized, it was becoming harder to not act the same around family as we did in our own home. We became more open about the church and allowed them to see the benefit it was for ourselves and our family. Overtime they have come to not only except our membership but to join in on occasion. Both our families helped make our children baptisms a special event, have attended Church nativity events every year for the last 10 years. Watched our kids so we could go to the temple etc. My mother who threatened to never speak to me if I ever sent the Missionaries after her has taken them meals at Thanksgiving when some ended up living on her street for a couple of years.
They respect our not buying on Sunday now when before would be put off by it. Or our not working on Sunday around the house etc. Last week I was having supper with some of my family and they started asking questions about the church and I spent an hour answering. They were even asking if our kids would be going on missions or not and thought it was a good idea!
The point is if you don't force your faith on others, and if you don't hide your faith from others, but simply live your faith it will have a positive influence on others. It will be harder for you then me, at least my wife and I supported each other. And you will have to walk a fine line between harmony in the home and living your new faith. But if you stay the course opportunities will arise that allow you to chip away at the walls around a closed mind. As the others have said in part your wife is on the defense and worried about what this will do to your relationship. And I can almost promise Satan will put many negative influences in her path. But if she sees the benefit the gospel gives her through your conversion she will soften.
Will mine or my wife's family ever join the church, not likely, but they now support us in our joining. Your wife will walk her path as much as you might want her on the gospel path the only way she can get there is with her agency. We are to do all we can and then as you already said let the Lord take care of the rest, and from experience he makes things happen that we would never expect, in his time.
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