Uncomfortable with the priesthood
To be honest I have always struggled with the idea of being a Priesthoold holder. I have a hard time convincing myself I have any ability whatsoever to fulfill and perform many priesthood duties (performing blessings, etc). That said, I have faithfully taught in Priesthood nearly 7 years, have been a decent home teacher and am always working to improve in that area, and have even served in the presidency.
I want to "bring the blessings of the Priesthood" to my home, but I have no idea how to do it. I know how to be and have been a faithful member, but I don't understand what distinguishes being a good priesthood holder from being a faithful member.
I have always felt uncomfortable in priesthood meetings with other men. I feel as if I don't belong there. I try to bypass or give to others lessons on the priesthood (that I would normally be teaching) while in priesthood.
I just don't believe I have the ability in me in any capacity to heal the sick, bless others, etc through the use of ordinances, though I have been able to use my influence and commitment to the Gospel to help others.
I don't know - perhaps I just don't and have never had a good grasp on it all.
Perhaps there was a question in there somewhere.