The story doesn't change. I left stuff out then let you in on some major events. I was just trying to let you see where I am coming from. So in my first marriage; I was happy and married I should have just accepted he would never join the church. I made a mistake in not waiting to see if he would join before we got married. I thought getting married to him would show commitment and then he would be interested in my church.
Yes, I have looked all my past relationships. I do notice it is me with the problem in all of them. I have a hard time forgiving me for all my mistakes. I know that is wrong. I just hate that I knew not to do something and I did it anyway. This one is a hard one to let go. I don't know if I can. I have tried for the past 9 years.