[mom_of_jcchlsm]

Hubby and I disagreed on this when our oldest kids were young. He believed in spanking and I did not. We ended up spanking our oldest three kids. But found it like a drug -- it took more and more force to achieve the same effect over time. Each child responded differently, though. Our oldest learned to avoid getting in trouble (sometimes by obedience and other times by being manipulative, deceitful, or by not getting caught). Our second child was almost panicked over being spanked -- just the mention of a spanking would bring immediate submission (I always felt that was wrong). Our third child is fiercely independent and spankings became a battle ground -- he was willing to endure whatever we dished out; he just decided that most of the things he wanted to do were worth the spanking he would get for it, so he'd just do it, take the punishment, and continue on his merry way. Spanking was no deterrant, and it wasn't working as a corrective measure. By the time our fourth child was two, we had stopped spanking the older kids, so she was never really spanked. Numbers 5 and 6 have never been spanked and number 7 won't be, either.
Now, I do occasionally slap the back of a hand that is reaching for something it ought not. And I do physically remove a child from the room if needed (pick them up kicking and screaming or just hold the wrist tightly and lead them away). But the primary tools we use are positive reenforcement (praising when they do something right, occasionally giving rewards or offereing carrots) and loss of privileges (computer, phone, a particular toy, choice of clothing to wear -- whatever fits the crime or whatever affects that child the most).
It takes a lot more work to think up and enforce appropriate corrective measures than to reach out and spank the child. I think we're doing the right thing now. But raising kids is sure hard work!