At any level of justice one must recognize that both positive and negative reinforcement (incentives) need to be employed. For all that I have read and experienced I am not convinced that spanking is either effective or unless. I think that one can justify what-ever their course. For the most part I do not think that parents are that much worse at being parents than children are at being children – that is with some exceptions. There are other issues that I think are more important or that I did wrong with my children.
1.Using chores as punishment.
2. Planning for them to have more leisure time than chores.
3. Putting them on the spot to lie when the truth would be difficult.
4. Not knowing the difference between teaching and training of children and not knowing when or which to employ.
5. Thinking that as parents you are the only influence in their lives that will (or can) really make a difference.
6. Attempting to spare them from “foolish” dreams that are likely beyond their reach. (Being the one to tell them they do not have what it takes to succeed at some given task – even if they don’t.)
7. Trying to make anything better for them without their knowing or participation.
8. Not making sure they know and understand what love is by your example.
Personally I think that any of the above can be more damaging to children than a spanking that is underserved or abusive. Do not take me wrong and think I condone abusing children with harsh physical punishments; extreams and excesses are always a problem – It is just that I think that so many parents think they are better than some other parents just because they do not spank or physically push their children and then to 50 other things that harm their children in other ways.
Spanking or not spanking is not the worse problem parents must face in raising children. I am personally concerned with the parent that think that it is.
The Traveler
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